No, wait. I swear it shouldn’t take you more than five minutes to read about this week’s Office. And I promise not to try out any more opening lines.
I’m not always a fan of Michael’s when he’s as self-centered and childish as he was tonight in "Phyllis’ Wedding," but I don’t know — something about this episode had me pretty well falling off the couch. Perhaps it was his assertion that "It’s a big day for Phyllis, but it’s an even bigger day for me," or his attempts to shove her dad back into his wheelchair, or how his "pants became wet" at his mom’s wedding to Jeff, but I really couldn’t stop laughing, and I only had to cover my eyes once or twice. (The on-camera debut of Scrantonicity didn’t hurt either.)
Actually, I take that back. What really sold it for me was one of his "three or four" opening lines: "Webster’s defines ‘wedding’ as ‘the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. …’" The Simpsons has played the "Webster’s defines" joke about hacky speechwriting lord knows how many times, but for Michael both to go to that well, and give the wrong definition on top of it, just felt like spot-on Michaelness.
What to make, though, of our girl Pam? Her increasing exasperation at the pirated details of her aborted nuptials ("It’s kinda like being invited to my own wedding") was good stuff — although it raises the question: How did Phyllis know about all that? The invitations, I get, because presumably Phyllis was invited to Pam’s wedding. But the flowers? The dress? Pam doesn’t seem to me like the kind of person who would talk about every detail of her ceremony at work, although perhaps she did at one time. Anyone have a theory on this?
What was really interesting, though, was her reaction to Roy. Now, I’ve become a Roy backer over the course of this season, given how much he seems to realize that he lost a good thing. So part of me is almost pleased to see the two of them connect again, Jim-Pam ‘shipping be damned.
But it seems a little out of character for Pam. On one hand, I can see her being a little vulnerable after watching, basically, her own wedding play out in front of her eyes. But although she seems to be on decent terms with Roy, all things considered, there hasn’t been anything thus far this season to suggest she’d even think about getting back together with him. Hell, last week she even asked Ryan to fix her up with one of his biz-school friends. Add that to what seem to be still-unresolved feelings for Jim, and you have a picture of a girl who really doesn’t know what she wants.
Other thoughts from the episode:
- Good Kelly action tonight: "There was an emergency … I look really good in white." And her, uh, consoling of Pam: "If I were you I’d get really drunk and freak out and tell someone I was pregnant." Best of all, though: Ryan swatting the bouquet away from her.
- I’ll say it again: Scrantonicity! (World tour 2007 T-shirts available here.)
- Still trying to get my head around Dwight’s explanation of the Schrute family weddings-and-funerals tradition.
- Jim’s Pavlovian training of Dwight, using his computer’s reboot noise and Altoids, was probably his best prank — or, at least, the truest to the spirit of amusing-but-ultimately-harmless torment from earlier in the series’ life — since the "Future Dwight" faxes.
- Toby seemed so out of his element when he tried to approach Pam early in the season, but apparently the guy has some game after all (unless you buy into the implication of Kevin’s "where’d you find her?," which I don’t think I do). Well done, man.
- Michael’s closing line: "I say, Let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that — about marriage. Smart broad."
So what about you? Don’t you hate it when the bride insists on hogging the spotlight at a wedding? And would you let your boss be in your wedding party if it meant a six-week honeymoon?