I’d like to open Season 3 of My Fair Brady with
a prayer. Thank you, God. Thank you — for letting me not be either of the
people in this relationship. This show has always been a guilty pleasure, but
man — 15 minutes into any episode and I want to get into counseling just so I
can watch them.
For the record, I’m totally a member of Team Curry. I think
she’s completely hilarious, if, uhm, unpredictable,
and I can think of no person more fun to do keg stands with. But while I think
Chris Knight is a huge part of the problem (holy overreactions, Batman), I’m no
hater. And I’m ready to rock this season’s look inside the Curry-Knight
Manhattan Beach Funny Farm. Whee!!
We open with the newlyweds doing those things that newlyweds
do — complaining about morning breath, making breakfast in bed, picking the
cheese off the eggs in the breakfast in bed (Seriously, who picks cheese off of
anything? Model or no, as a fellow Midwesterner I say you gotta eat that cheese
and let your freak flag fly.), and talking about moving into a new house. They
need a house that they can both put themselves into, says Adrianne, and so she
feels she has a home. I guess that roof over her head didn’t count. OK.
So Mr. and Mrs. Knucklehead start looking at houses —
including one that from the inside is the spitting image of Jessica and Nick’s
except that it’s not in Calabasas, and they start mulling over whether it’s
kid-friendly enough. She’s gushing over every possible house feature (while I’m
not experienced in buying real estate, I’m thinking that’s not a great idea).
Then they go out to dinner with two other couples, and the ever-retiring Mrs. Knight starts joking about their sex life. While he shovels dessert down his
gullet and looks embarrassed.
Now that they’re finally hitched, the question becomes how
strong is their urge to breed? "I’m so back and forth on babies,"
Adrianne says. "One second I want ’em and the next second I don’t want
’em… for a while." See, this is why you shouldn’t get married at 23…
to a man 25 years older… whom you met on a reality show. But never mind.
Of course they fight, and of course they go to therapy — we don’t
get treated to a session this week, but I look forward to at least several
counseling sessions in the future. She bakes brownies while discussing when
they’ll start a family. The up side is that they talk like a couple who’s been
through a good deal of counseling — and paid attention. I actually applauded
(silently, in my head) when she calmly discussed his control issues. Or, you
know, called him out on his ridiculousness. You say potato, I say potato. "The
reason for the discussion of vasectomy was I’m serious about a planned
family," Knight says. "Not an accidental family. And I think Adrianne
looked at this as though I wanted control." Ya think?
We end with her, uh, "intimate" photo shoot — both
solo and with a friend — as a present for his birthday. Which we find out in
the previews doesn’t actually go swimmingly.
Looking ahead this season, it seems we can expect: arguments
over whether having a baby is a bigger priority than a breast augmentation,
Knight yelling that he wants a separation, more yelling, more counseling, and
more general feelings of ickiness. Can’t wait.
What did you think? Are these two made for each other or
what? Do you think Chris has learned as much in therapy as Adrianne? What are
the odds she’ll choose the baby over … surgery?