And again, I wonder: Is he the most un-self aware man in the
world, or is he a genius? Because we keep watching — and he’s makin’ the money.
After Chris basically loses his mind with the girly photo
shoot album, he walks out and gets his own room, leaving his wife behind
shrieking, "I don’t want anyone else but you!" She calls his cell and
gets his voicemail (of course), where she apologizes for having failed to give
him a good birthday. Oh, Adrianne.
In his room, Chris calls their marriage counselor, Dr. Pine,
and says he’s "confused" and that "Adrianne has been sending
mixed signals for a very long time." So, sure — marry her if you don’t have
a clear read on who she is. The wise (and I would imagine after the amount of
counseling these two need, quite wealthy) Dr. Pine reminds Chris that Adrianne
has made it clear that when she’s hurt, she turns to her mother and her
grandmother. "I wonder if it’s possible that her experiences with women
are really about comfort and safety."
Meanwhile, back in their room, a hysterical Adrianne calls
her friend Brandy — who totally wins Friend of the Year in my book — and tells
her what happened. Chris comes back ready to talk, and reflects, "I’m sure
that leaving was more damaging, ultimately to our relationship." Uh, ya
think? He admits that her talking about being with other women isn’t funny or
interesting and does nothing for him, and he finds it offensive. She gets it
now, she says — but this is the first time she’s ever heard this from him.
Then she brings up his cheating ex-wives, which in his
voiceover (What is up with that shirt, by the way? Is he playing canasta in
Boca, or what?) he calls offensive and says has no bearing on his concern. Oh
really? No, insecurities over infidelities would have no bearing on irrational
reasoning. Good grief. They talk some more, she admits she’s attracted to both
men and women but that she’s found her mate, and he pulls the covers up over his head
and turns over. Seriously? This is how a 49-year-old man talks through
issues? By this point I’m yelling at the TV and practically bursting with pride
when Adrianne sticks up for herself and says, "Stop telling me you’ll
leave me. Stop telling me I’m not good enough for you. Stop it."
They continue the conversation at home, and again he walks
out of the room. He talks about how he’s got to work on his baggage, but he’s
disappointed that she’s not working on hers. She talks about how they should
both go to individual counseling. "I’ve done 20 years of counseling,"
he says. Buddy, demand a refund, because nothing’s sunk in. "Obviously
it’s done a great job for you!" she yells. "It doesn’t matter if
you’ve done 20 years because you’re so f****d up! We both need to go!"
They end up working it out in a rather touching conversation.
OK. Problem solved. On to the next issue.
To implant or not to implant? She wants augmentation surgery; he wants to
go to cooking classes. There’s a way to compromise! She consults with a plastic
surgeon, who advises putting off the procedure if they’re going to have kids
any time soon. "That’s fine with me, because Chris and I already agreed
that we would wait eight or nine years until we had children." Grateful for
the reprieve, you two.
Understanding that he has a tendency to change his mind,
Adrianne tries to confirm with her husband that they’re set on waiting to have
kids. He’s fine with that — that is, until next week . . .
What did you think? Satisfactory resolution to the problem?
Is he going to change his mind? Will going under the knife make everyone happy?
How big a beach house do you think Dr. Pine has been able to buy as a result of
working with these two?