The Rock of Love 2 girls got down and dirty tonight and for once I am not using the term as a metaphor to describe drunken debauchery. No, rather I am referencing the second annual Brett Michael’s Mud Bowl. Which Big John was especially looking forward to, if the sinister laughter and hand wringing were any indication.
Brett picks Catherine to be the captain of The Sweethearts and Destiny to be captain of The Fallen Angels, but I am kind of fuzzy on what exactly that means, since Brett is quarterback for both teams (yes, I know) and it’s the MVP of the winning team that gets the solo date. I don’t even see the captains attempting to strategize, so it seems like an empty gesture, just to give them something to do. In addition to controlling the team captains, Brett also controls the weather, as he has John on the sidelines controlling a mechanism that will simulate rain, wind and snow to make the game that much more challenging. As if the mere concept wasn’t going to be difficult enough for the girls.
The Sweethearts, made up of Catherine, Peyton, Ambre and Jessica take an early lead, with Ambre completing the first touchdown, and a second before the Fallen Angels get on the scoreboard in the second half. The Fallen Angels, made up of Destiny, Kristy Joe, Daisy, and Inna (whom Brett calls his Ukrainian Love Bus) get a touchdown thanks to the efforts of Kristy Joe and then a second due to Inna. This puts the game into sudden death, allowing Daisy – who had played hard the whole game – to bring in the tie breaking touchdown for her team and snag herself the MVP solo date. Ambre gets a date too…with the EMTs on the sidelines who squirt antiseptic into her cut up knees.
Brett, class act that he is, takes Daisy to a sex shop, where he picks out lots of lingerie for her to try on before they sit down to eat. Right there among the crotchless panties and blow up dolls. Over the short course of their dinner, she batters him with inane questions, such as: How tall are you, do you like to travel, do you like to read, do you like watching movies, do you like to eat a lot. Seriously, the only one she was missing was, do you like oxygen. Brett gets tired of that pretty quick and they head back to the house.
Where the girls have not been sitting idle, of course. Peyton, feeling anxious about not getting enough time with Brett, left a note on his door. Which was removed by Megan when she put his own note on his door. Peyton goes back to – I kid thee not – "make sure it’s not full of crazy stuff", only to find it missing and a note from Megan on the door instead. She write another, confronts Megan about it on her way to place her second note and doesn’t flinch too much when Megan acts surprised. To be extra sure, Peyton pushes her note through the crack in the door – but not quite far enough because Megan comes by a few moments later and fishes is out, discarding it as well. It’s like fifth grade all over again! Only with implants!
Brett and Daisy return from their date and she runs upstairs to change into one of the outfits, full of home for another evening alone with Brett. But by the time she comes back down, he’s playing pool with the other girls and making a bet with Catherine for 5 minutes of his time, alone. Which she wins, so he takes her into his bedroom – leaving Daisy in her leopard print….whatever that was…in the bar room with the other girls. In his bedroom, Catherine asks if he feels a connection to her and they make out why daisy stands outside wondering why he is wasting his time with "Peggy Bundy". She tries to interrupt but he puts her off, appearing a few moments later to lead Catherine out. She gushes about what a good time she had with him (what the hell is this? 7 minutes of heaven? It IS like middle school!) and how she won’t be able to sleep. Brett nonchalantly replies "I’m going to bed, I’m tired’. Ouch!
The next day, the group date girls meet Brett at a raceway, where he speeds up in a yellow Lotus and gives all the girls a chance to drive. Well, Inna he has to teach and she grinds the clutch so bad he ends up driving it himself, but the thought was there. Then they all sit down to lunch, on the track, with no shade in sight. Sounds delightful, no? They gossip about the other girls, everyone agreeing that Jessica is a sweet girl without a malicious bone in her body, before Kristy Joe brings up her Ex-husband, current husband and multiple restraining orders. Again. Brett Camera talks that the topic sends him a red flag. Gee, ya think?
They head back to the house and Peyton’s anxiety has her about to pop, so Brett takes her to his room to talk. She immediately bursts into tears and then desperately asks if he is attracted to her. He starts with "Don’t take this the wrong way" and I am already cringing. He pulls the friendship card by saying he doesn’t want to pull the friendship card, but when they kiss good bye it’s just a quick peck. Hell, he even made out with Catherine, so I think it’s safe to say, No. He’s not attracted to her.
Elimination time comes and Megan camera talks that she feels safe because she and Brett have "A mental…Superman….psychological connection" and I wonder if she can actually define any of those words. But, she gets the first pass along with Kudos from Brett about the note she left on his door and a sideways look from Peyton who may just start to put two and two together any day now. He goes through all the passes until it’s just Daisy and Peyton, much to Daisy’s bewilderment. When he calls Peyton down and asks her if she thinks they have a connection and if she wants to stay, Daisy is half incredulous and half stunned, with a side order of crocodile tears.
Which is when Brett says he saved the best for last, and despite it breaking every rule of the show, he wants to keep Daisy too. She readily agrees with palpable relief, but Brett holds up the festivities saying that since he kept them all this week, two will go next week. Who’s your guess for next weeks dual elimination?