For the last few weeks, the eliminations on Rock of Love 2 had been fairly predictable. Really, did anyone see Angelique making it to the final three? Of course not. Tonight, however, was the monkey wrench in the works. Or, as Destiny would say, "the phillips whatever". But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The show starts off with Kristy Joe thinking she has a shot at being the girl Brett ultimately picks to be his one and only. On the other side of the spectrum is Aubrey, who stares in what she probably thinks is a dreamy and romantic way at Brett after last week’s elimination ceremony. Unfortunately, he interprets it as the cold stare of a possibly psychotic individual with homicidal ideations. He says he wants to get to bed and carefully sidesteps Aubrey to kiss Daisy and then Destiny and then all the other girls goodnight. Aubrey begins to obsess right around the time Daisy decides to make her move and asks Brett if she can walk him to his room. The other girls say Daisy better be upstairs soon, but when she and Brett disappear in his room they all assume it’s not to discuss the Presidential primaries.
Aubrey and Kristy Joe go to the pool and gossip about the sex they aren’t having. Aubrey admits she isn’t bothered by the fact that Brett is with another woman right now, but the fact that he snubbed her makes her feel neglected and she doesn’t like that. Kristy Joe admits that she doesn’t want to think about what is going on in the bedroom because it’s too upsetting. I am just grateful there’s not a camera in the room. Daisy emerges the next day and when all the girls get into the limo to head off to their challenge, Aubrey starts in on her. Daisy sticks to her guns that she and Brett were just getting to know each other, which Aubrey doesn’t buy, and some choice words are passed between them before they arrive at their destination.
It seems Brett has sent the girls to Exile Cycles to build custom choppers. They are split into two teams and told that they must pick a leader. The lead mechanic of the winning team will get a solo date with Brett, while the lead mechanic on the losing team will be relegated to cleaning Brett’s bike with a toothbrush while wearing a bikini. Peyton and Inna both tackle the lead mechanic roles for their respective teams and the girls are off and running. Russel, the shop owner explains that a lot of the work is already done, especially for the sake of safety. Really, would you trust these girls to wire your brake lines? But there are instructions about what is left for them to do. Things like attach the gas tank, tires and seat. Right away Ambre complains that the instructions lack pictures, while Megan admits that her goal is to just look hot. I realize I wouldn’t want to be around when they try to fire up the bikes. But eventually, fire up they do, and much to Peyton’s disappointment, Inna’s team wins.
When Brett returns to get the results of the challenge, Russel tells him that Peyton’s team nearly won, but that Destiny was so inept she probably held them back. As such, Brett decides to have Destiny join Peyton in the cleaning via tooth brush while he and Inna head off to dinner. A date we see very little of, so I imagine it was as boring as we would expect from Inna. When they return to the house, Peyton and Destiny are still bikini clad and posing on his bike just inside the front door – which Brett decides is the best welcome home he can imagine.
Less welcome is Aubrey, sulking in the background and demanding to talk to him. He reluctantly agrees and once in private she starts right back in on the fact that he side stepped her to say good night to the other girls. He listens in obvious annoyance while Ambre camera talks outside that she thinks Aubrey has low self-esteem. Physician, heal thyself! My favorite part of Aubrey’s talk to Brett is when she tells him she’s very observant, because she’s a karaoke host. Who knew that a job skill of the profession? He decides she’s a little needy and completely agrees with her when she says "I am not well". That much is obvious, sweetheart.
Also unwell is Kristy Joe, who is obsessing about the fact that she is still legally married and that she maybe shouldn’t be on a reality television show trying to find "love" before her divorce is finalized. Her second divorce. From the guy she met two months after her first divorce. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? And Brett thinks Aubrey is needy? Anyway, Kristy Joe works herself into a tearful frenzy with the help of Aubrey and calls all the girls together to get her whole sordid story out in the open and ask what they think she should do. The girls who all decided they hate her last week. Good plan!
They unanimously tell her to go talk to Brett. While crying, hysterically babbling about her ex-husband, her soon to be ex-husband, her child and all her other commitments, while wearing a tank top with messy hair and no make up on. Yes, they obviously have your best interests at heart, Kristy Joe. She does exactly what they hope and then some. She tells him again about the mess her own life is and then adds to it that she’s only giving him 50%, maybe 75%, because she isn’t sure she should be there at all. Way to win the man’s affection. Yet, mysteriously he talks her into staying.
The next day, the group date time arrives and a team of hair and make-up people arrive to create 50s styled pin-up looks for the girls, who will be doing photo shoots with Brett. Megan pouts that she doesn’t want to look like the 50s because she’s only 22, but that aside most of the girls seem to get the idea and go with it. It’s mostly cute, actually. Then they go to lunch and we get right back to the juvenile drama. Aubrey monotones that it seems like the entire situation is designed to hurt nearly everyone involved and Brett pipes in. He says that some people are there for the right reasons and some are there for the wrong reasons, adding "like what’s-her-face last night". Brett then proceeds to talk about Kristy Joe for a bit, in terms of her not being sure she should be there. Of course, Aubrey decides that Kristy Joe needs to know "Brett was talking smack about her".
Predictably, this makes Kristy Joe mad and then makes her cry and then makes her go confront Brett. She storms into his room and demands "I’d like to know how you really feel about me". Brett admits that he doesn’t feel connected, allowing her to reply that she’s scared of what it could lead to, especially if he changes his mind later. He hits her back with "So, you just bail?" and by the end of it all, Kristy Joe has capitulated yet again, to the point where she camera talks "It may not be the best timing, but who’s to say he’s not the right person?" Who knew Brett Micheals was a mind ninja? Assuming Kristy Joe has a mind, that is.
The elimination ceremony starts out perfectly normal. Daisy boasts that no one can beat the chemistry she has with Brett. Chemistry? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I am still kind of shocked that Catherine and her hair circa 1987 are still there, but beyond that, the final three being Megan, Aubrey and Kristy Joe is only a shock to Megan. She makes incredulous faces as he explains that he hasn’t felt a connection to her yet, but that he hopes to, and then we are down to Aubrey and Kristy Joe. Kristy Joe immediately starts to cry, while Aubrey robots a total lack of emotion.
Brett begins to talk about how he really like one of the girls, but she came to him recently and said some things about how she wasn’t sure she wanted there. Kristy Joe starts to sob and Aubrey looks from her to Brett a few times before stepping forward. She tearfully asks Brett if she voluntarily leaves, will he let Kristy Joe – her best friend in the house – stay. He agrees and Aubrey finally begins to cry herself, hugging Kristy Joe and telling her she better not decide to leave on her own, because she’s giving her a gift. All the girls watch in amazement as Aubrey leaves the house in tears, her head high because of her sacrifice.
Of course, the best part is when Brett turns the last pass around and it’s Kristy Joe’s face on it. I do believe that Aubrey just punked herself on national television, folks! That has to be the most embarrassing thing to happen on any celebreality show thus far- and we are talking about a genre that contains an incident where a woman defecated in a place that was not a sanctioned rest room. That says a lot!