I do believe that tonight we watched Rock of Love 2 sink to a new, albeit predictable low. It seems the challenge for the girls this week was to put on a talent show. Yes, again. And since we all know how the previous "talent" shows have all been about who can show the most skin, I am bewildered about why they chose to have this show in front of a group of US Veterans, a’ la U.S.O. tour. Really, haven’t our veterans been through enough?
I know it’s going to go bad when Brett introduces the girls to two elderly women who organize U.S.O. events, and Destiny looks like she is about to be ill. They are told there will be 3 duo acts and 1 solo, and the winner gets a date with Brett. They are given 1 hour to get ready, which seems like a very small amount of time. But then again, we are dealing with a very small amount of talent. Megan and Jessica decide to hula hoop while reciting the preamble to the United States Constitution. Which is complicated by the fact that Megan can’t identify half the words when attempting to read them, much less comprehend and recite them. Destiny and Inna decide to dance, despite the fact that they totally lack any sense of rhythm. Ambre and Kristy Joe decide that Ambre will tap dance while Kristy Joe does "comedy". And lastly, Daisy grabs the solo spot by saying she will sing the Star Spangled Banner.
Well, it all goes about as well as you would expect. It starts during rehearsal, when Joan Arlene, one of the woman running the outfit, tries to give Destiny and Inna instruction – which Inna doesn’t take kindly to. The segment ends with Inna threatening to slap Joan Arlene – who, I’m guessing is in her 70s. That’s class, Inna. Megan and Jessica actually end up looking really cute, as they embrace the corniness of their idea. Ambre and Kristy Joe look like….well, Ambre looked like a decent tap dancer and – as Brett described her – Kristy Joe looked like "a monkey on crack". Daisy’s attempt to sing serves only one purpose – to give Jessica the chance the crack wise on camera when she says the act is complicated by the fact that Daisy "is tone deaf and doesn’t know the words…to the national anthem". When did Jessica develop something resembling a personality? But Destiny and Inna? To call their act vulgar would be an understatement. They do a full on truck-stop strip show, complete with bending over and ass slapping. For the veterans. Megan and Jessica win by virtue of being the least spastic and disgusting.
After the disastrous show, Brett and the girls go back to the house to have dinner together. Brett asks them all to have a nice conversation – and then picks the topic "who do you think is here for the right reasons, and who do you think is here for the wrong ones", which is about as close to rolling a live grenade into a room as you could expect. Yet the girls do better then I expect about being diplomatic around each other. That is, they do until Ambre finally breaks under the strain of Brett repeatedly asking for someone to be truthful and give him the dirt. So, she says what everyone else was thinking – the Kristy Joe is as fake as Daisy lips and chest. Well, in a manner of speaking that’s what she says.
From there Brett asks Kristy Joe what she thinks, and she avoids eye contact and gives one of her typical ‘when you aren’t feeling it, let me leave’ sort of comments. Which, for some reason, really chaps Destiny’s ass, because next thing I know she’s screaming at Kristy Joe and a moment later Kristy Joe is screaming back. It’s like a white trash Thanksgiving! Brett gets everyone calm before he address Kristy Joe himself, saying that he isn’t always sure that he buys her act before he excuses himself. This leads Kristy Joe to pout off and Destiny to storm away in a huff, only to come back and way over pour a glass of champagne for herself. Oh my, so much drama!
And it continues with Kristy Joe, who is back in the closet, packing her bags. Brett comes up to talk to her and she hugs him and sobs about how she can’t take being attacked every single day. Yet, all her "packing" seems to consist merely of unfolding and refolding clothes and moving them around in different piles. Which apparently lasts through the evening and is the task she goes back to in the morning, only taking a break to write a letter. Don’t ask me, I have no idea. But she’s apparently working on her correspondence when Ambre approaches her to try and smooth over what happened the evening before. Kristy Joe smiles and nows, but confessionals that she couldn’t care less how Ambre feels about it all.
This weeks date is the worst yet. Brett takes them to an Ed Hardy store and buys them t-shirts, which are then cut and shredded and tied by a guy who works there, rendering them only appropriate to wear to Daytona Bike Week. Then they go out to lunch, in a segment so boring that I am positive it was only included in the show for the 30 second moment where Megan throws Inna under the bus by revealing to Brett that Inna yelled at the old lady from the U.S.O.
And in the end, I believe that is the straw that broke the camel’s back, because despite the fact that she’s lying, manipulative, and possibly has Borderline Personality Disorder – Kristy Joe has never threatened to kick a grandmother’s ass. So, Inna is told her tour has ended, and to everyone’s dismay Kristy Joe remains. Which leads me to ask- who do you think is next to go? I vote for Jessica, because I think she’s too nice and too quiet to be of much interest to Brett. Or the producers. Which ever.