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Wow!  Another Survivor: Micronesia — Fans vs. Favorites already? I can’t believe my luck! I haven’t had anyone backstab, lie to, or double-cross me all week. I miss the dysfunction…

We gotta get this together.
Wounded Malakal returns to their camp, and Ozzy is feeling little remorse concerning his decision to vote out Ami. Erik however, is dazed by the fact that he is still on the island. The whole tribe is praying for the merge to dissolve their useless team. Fortunately for them, that dissolution is right around the corner.

On your marks, get set, MERGE! Eliza finally tumbles to the fact that none of the Faves like her, and is talking alliance with Jason. Aw, Ellie, people would like you if you had more of a personality! And if you didn’t look like a stick with eyes. Cirie annonces to the viewing audience the news of the merge, which comes as a boon to both tribes, and Erik especially. Alexis, Natalie, and Parvati make plans to hide the fact that they have a deal going with the absent Amanda.  And what’s this, Alexis is talking on camera? Has she been here the whole time?

The Merge happens, and the feast begins. A feast of regular food, and bat! James, in particular, takes an interest in the winged vermin, and chows down. Dude! I want to eat a bat! Sadly, I will probably end my eating career with more dreams than that one unfulfilled.

Night falls, and as Ozzy lies down to bed, it’s Alexis instead of Amanda lying next to him. Is he hoping for a return to his porn career? ‘Cuz he’s working on a hell of a threesome. Amanda, however, could not be less down, and immediately makes known her intent to rid the islands of Alexis.

Parvati is playing the field — meh, what’s new. The new Dabu tribe heads to Malakal beach to make their home, and the way they’re talking, you’d think it was a five-star resort. Ozzy, within seconds of talking to Jason, deduces that he holds the fake idol, and couldn’t be happier that it is Jason who has taken the bait.

Eliza tests her credit with Pravati, and finds that, as suspected, she can’t count on the favorites anymore. The competition betweens Fans and Favorites seems to be over. Pravati, not content with snubbing Eliza to her face, runs to Amanda to share a laugh over Eliza’s situation, and announces that, on Amanda’s behalf, she has made an alliance with Alexis, Natalie, and the two of them.  Amanda plays it cool, but she is boiling over the fact that she is now allied with the nobody-turned Ozzy groupie, Alexis.

Take a deep breath, you’re in for the long haul. The tribe reads tree mail, and deduces that anJasonsiska_survivor_micronesia_240
endurance contest for immunity is in the offing. With the great number of people who may potentially be voted out, this competition should be a big one. Jason makes an offer to Eliza: if he wins immunity, he will give the (fake) immunity idol to her.

The challenge begins, and tribe members must remain under a grate as the tide rises, decreasing the space between their mouths, noses, and fresh air. Amanda makes an early exit from the competition, followed by Parvati and Alexis. The psychological impact gets to Cirie next, and Natalie after that. The hour mark passes, and Eliza and Erik bow out. James, Jason, and Ozzy remain until the water passes above the grate. After James makes his exit, Jason manages to outlast Ozzy for the win. Wow! I may never eat bat, but I did live long enough to see Ozzy defeated in a challenge this season! Now to see if Jason keeps his promise to Eliza.

Night falls as tensions rise.
Jason is beaming after his win over Ozzy, and hopes to cap his night by voting Ozzdogs off. Parvati on the other hand, has her designs on Eliza. Eliza is eager to see the idol, and runs to nag Jason about showing it to her.

Amanda spots Ozzy and Alexis chumming up, and talks to Cirie about eventually voting her rival off. Cirie is just happy to hear a name other than hers. Jason passes the fake idol to Eliza, who demonstrates an IQ several points higher than Jason when she notes that the idol she has been handed is a stick with a face on it. Eliza runs to confront Jason with this information and he EVENTUALLY gets it. Apparently what you say when you’ve been carrying around a fake idol for days is “that’s a bummer.”

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The tribe goes to council, and the benefits of playing a social game are debated. It quickly becomes apparent that many on the tribe intend to vote out Eliza. Her gargantuan eyes roll, and everyone’s animosity towards her comes to the forefront. Contestants go to vote, and Eliza expresses her lack of faith in the stick that Jason has presented her. Sure enough, the stick is revealed to be a fraud, and Jeff tosses it into the fire while Ozzy laughs his heart out. Eliza outs Ozzy as the owner of the true idol, and is voted out. Gotta love how as Jeff says “nine individuals all with an equal shot at winning this game,” the editor cuts to Ozzy, smiling, as if to say “equal my deeply tanned ass.” Who’s to say that he is wrong?

Next week — will the remaining tribe finally realize that it will take a concerted effort to exit Ozzy from the game?  Or will he impose his will on my television for the umpteenth season in a row? I’m not a gambling man, but I’m betting everything I own and my immortal soul on Ozzy.