I’ve never asked Karma for much besides smiting my enemies for their bad deeds or that I don’t get a parking ticket since I put a quarter in someone’s expired meter. On this week’s My Name is Earl, Karma’s pulling love doctor duty. Hey, why not? it’s cheaper than a dating service.
Now that Earl’s awake, the rest of the gang is filling him in on what happened when he was comatose. The big developments being Joy & Darnell having moved into the Crab Shack with the kids because the government won’t let them live in a sideways trailer (Earl says he’ll fix that once he gets enough money together to rent a crane) and Catalina has declared herself a lesbian (which Joy believes to be a ruse to get extra tips at the strip club). Randy is reading off a list of odd and mundane things he’s done but Earl is focused on Billie since karma wants them together. Only he has no idea how or where to find her. When Joy makes a crack about him only wanting everything that Frank (the always funny Michael Rapaport) had, it gives Earl the bright idea to go ask him.
Due to the prison being overcrowded, Frank’s at a halfway house where they put tranquilizers in the food, shock collars on the "inmates" and are only let out when they have jobs – like Paco who is a delivery boy at restaurant that makes him wear lederhosen and a sombrero. When Randy blurts out that Earl is interested in Billie, Frank’s surprisingly okay with it since they’re both on the straight and narrow. He agrees to help Earl track her down but only if Earl finds him a job. Which he does at the Crab Shack.
Earl, Frank and Randy go to visit Billie’s cousin Jocelyn and we find out that Billie’s been running amok – she robbed a liquor store on Christmas Day which is what she was running from when she hit Earl. She’d called recently for help so they checked caller id.
With help from Kenny, but not before being traumatized by a DILF website he was looking at but trying to hide (it’s like MILF, only not), they traced the number to a pay phone.
Randy, Earl and Frank stake out the phone and run into Stuart (the cop turned pro bowler) who lives nearby. They exchange pleasantries and don’t know that it was Stuart who’d hit Billie with his car. He visited her in the hospital while in a coma and grew attached. When Billie woke up and asked if Earl was okay, Stuart told her she’d killed him so she would hide out at his house and hopefully grow to love him.
Fearing being found out, Stuart tells Billie that there are cops outside and they have to relocate…and end up at the motel where Catalina works. She walks in to drop off some extra towels and sees the freshly showered Billie, clad only in a towel, brushing her hair. Catalina puts the moves on her in ways that are would be four times creepier if a dude were doing them and wigs Billie out, who retreats to the bathroom. On the way out, Catalina sees Stuart and recognizes him. She tells him that she’ll tell Earl she saw him since Earl’s place is only a few doors down. Stuart panics and tells Billie the cops are outside again.
Back at the Crab Shack, Earl has hit a roadblock. He asks karma what to do next, how he should find Billie and then Kenny calls. Stuart came there to hide out but, since Kenny has a crush on him, ratted them out to Earl.
Now that she’s back to being bad, Frank ended up falling for Billie again which Earl notices as they arrive at Kenny’s house. Earl decides that he wants to shower and figure out what he’s going to say to her and they take Frank back to the halfway house to prevent him from hitting on her. Earl calls Darnell and has Frank fired so he can’t get out but he escapes the next day and tackles Earl before he can get inside Kenny’s house.
Meanwhile, Billie’s decided to rob Kenny so she can go on the lam by herself, which she apologizes for. She tosses some rope to Kenny and instructs him to tie Stuart and himself up, which he gladly does while straddling Stuart’s lap. Earl finally barges in and is followed by Frank and Catalina (who Billie called to give her a ride). After and impassioned speech, Earl finally wins Billie over and they kiss.
In the end, everyone gets somebody. Stuart falls for Kenny after he mentions a retirement plan complete with Stuart’s favorite type of dogs. Paco sees Catalina while driving down the street and swerves to a stop ahead. He gets out of the car, they run towards each other and kiss – they were childhood sweethearts. Frank and Jocelyn end up back together (they had a fling while he was dating Billie). And Billed used her $100,000 insurance settlement for the accident to marry Earl (his "third marriage to a woman [he] hardly knew").
My favorite quote, a thought, and a couple questions:
- "In the Wizard of OZ, trees threw apples. Trees are bastards." – Randy in response to Catalina’s tree-themed explanation to becoming a "chapstick lesbian"
- Alyssa Milano has signed up to do a pilot for ABC so I doubt she’ll be around next season. Instead of just dissolving the marriage, it would only be fitting for them to replace Alyssa with someone who looks only remotely like her since they’ve been riding the sitcom-in-Earl’s-mind train for weeks (a la the Darrens on Bewitched).
So do we like how quickly Earl and Billie got married? Seems par for the course to me. Also, the $100,000 gives Earl some much needed funds to continue crossing people off the list. Did I miss your favorite quote/part?