Alas Dylan did not reappear until the final minutes of the November 18, 1998 episode. I chronicled the excruciating wait for my all time favorite TV boyfriend in a minute-by-minute recap.
So now in honor of the new 90210 and back by (somewhat) popular demand, I bring you a one-time-only reappearance of the Dylan Diaries.
7:55 p.m. I decide to do something I haven’t done in years — watch TV live. That’s right with commercials.
7:58 p.m. I’m so nervous I seriously might throw up.
7:59 p.m. I’m not kidding.
8:00 p.m. Where is the theme song? Panicking here.
8:02 p.m. The Walsh, I mean Wilson siblings, talk about how different things will be in Beverly Hills.
8:03 p.m. Jessica Walter is awesome.
8:04 p.m. As if to prove that this will be a departure from the original, Annie catches Ethan receiving, shall we say, oral satisfaction in his car.
8:05 p.m. Is that Andrea???
8:05 p.m. No but it is Andrea’s daughter. Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez is reading the news. Such good times. I quickly do the math. Hannah was born in May of 1994 which would make her 14. The math works!
8:06 p.m. Folks, we have the first inside joke of the night. Teacher Ryan Matthews jokes, "What is that girl? Like 30?" Thanks for the shout out Gabe and Jeff (the executive producers I’m starting to feel a great deal of affection for).
8:07 p.m. KELLY TAYLOR! And I have to say Jennie Garth looks almost exactly the same. I wonder what eye cream she uses. It’s good that she’s a guidance counselor. There’s not a teen problem she hasn’t had. And if anyone decides to join a cult, she’ll know exactly what to do.
8:08 p.m. As if Rob Estes appearance isn’t confusing enough, the show tries to convince us that Harry and Kelly used to know each other which is impossible since he lived in Melrose Place long after Kelly visited the apartment complex. Duh, everybody knows that.
8:10 p.m. An updated version of the theme music plays but not the opening credits the CW showed in LA that had this new cast recreating the original opening. Where is the ch-ch?? Booooo.
8:11 p.m. I try to fast forward through the commercials. Oh that’s right. I can’t.
8:14 p.m. We have confirmation that Silver is indeed Erin Silver, the half sister of David and Kelly. I quickly do the math. Erin was born in the summer of 1992 (at the beginning of the show’s third season), which would make her 16. The math works!
8:15 p.m. Naomi references her not-so-sweet 16 party. If that girl is 16, I’m 12.
8:16 p.m. Nat is at the Peach Pit. I am starting to feel a bit calmer.
8:18 p.m. Dixon tries out for the lacrosse team and gets into a fight with the star player who doesn’t like that Dixon is better than he is. This is a totally old school plot line.
8:19 p.m. Once again I try to fast forward through the commercials. How did I ever survive before TiVo?
8:27 p.m. Naomi’s mother drops by to talk about the good times she had with Harry when they were in high school.
8:28 p.m. Debbie offers to drive her home. "I can drive you and we can swap stories about Harry’s penis." Debbie’s feisty. I love it. Cindy Walsh would never talk like that.
8:39 p.m. Who wears short-shorts? Naomi wears short-shorts.
8:48 p.m. Principal Wilson believes in Naomi and thinks she can write her own paper. How very after school special of him.
8:55 p.m. Fun fact — Naomi’s birthday party is where CBS and the CW had their press party this summer.
8:56 p.m. There’s a reference to last night at the Pit. Wait? We saw the Peach Pit After Dark and I didn’t even know that?
8:57 p.m. Naomi’s mother tells Harry that they have a son that she gave up for adoption. I’m doubling down right now that it’s that cute teacher Ryan. Who’s with me?
9:00 p.m. Silver takes Annie to a much cooler party at the beach. Welcome to the O.C., bitch.
9:01 p.m. Solidifying his bad boy trying to be good status, Ethan tells Annie he has been a "complete ass." He’s cute, but I think I’d like him better if he had sideburns.
9:02 p.m. Kelly is on the phone and tells an unknown person "He’s been asking about you?" Then her four and a half year old son comes into the room. Who is Kelly talking to? Please let it be Dylan. Please let it be Dylan. Please let it be Dylan.
9:04 p.m. Tabitha announces she has to finish her memoirs before her friend Virginia because they "slept with all the same people." She is seriously my favorite character.
9:05 p.m. It occurs to be that I’m actually liking the show. And that even with the car escapades, this 90210 seems so innocent compared to Gossip Girl and The O.C. It’s not ironic at all. It’s like they are channeling Aaron Spelling.
9:07 p.m. I really wish Tori Spelling were here. Chant with me now. For Donna Martin, we cannot wait! For Donna Martin, we cannot wait!
9:26 p.m. Annie is back from her date from San Francisco and you just know she is going to get in trouble.
9:26 p.m. Ryan asks out Kelly but refers to her son as "baggage." Oops. Does anyone care that she is at least 10 years older than he is? I sure don’t.
9:26 p.m. Starting to panic that we haven’t seen Brenda yet.
9:27 p.m. There she is! Brenda (Shannen Doherty) and Kelly have the scene reported on by practically every single magazine this week. And she mentions Brandon who Kelly last talked to when he was in Belize. Is he the father??
9:28 p.m. Sure she could use a haircut, but who am I to quibble. I’m so excited she’s back. And I’ve always liked Shannen Doherty — her bad girl antics of yesterday wouldn’t even rate these days.
9:30 p.m. As the theme music melodramatically plays in the background, the entire Kelly and Brenda drama is put to rest in a quick exchange about not wasting time anymore. But we do know that Brenda saw Kelly’s son when he was an infant, so could she be Sam’s aunt.
9:39 p.m. I seriously can’t believe that no one told me Linda Gray was going to be on this show as Ethan’s grandmother. When I saw her name in the opening credits, I thought it must be a different Linda Gray.
9:40 p.m. Here we go. Ethan and Annie are in the pool chatting and Ethan lets it be known that he came over just to see Annie.
9:45 p.m. There’s some kind of lacrosse revenge shenanigans.
9:49 p.m. We get the gossip that Naomi and Erin used to be best friends — they even have matching tattoos. And we get more talk of Jackie Taylor falling off the wagon. Yet still no mention of David Silver or Donna Martin which I just find kind of rude.
9:50 p.m. Adriana is not looking so good. But I’ve largely been ignoring this story line. I’ve double checked the regular cast credits and she’s not in them so my guess is she will stay around long enough to create the social issue of the week and then be on her way. So I’m not going to get too invested. She’ll be off to rehab by next week.
9:54 p.m. Ethan breaks up with Naomi, who looks a lot better sans make up.
9:56 p.m. Brenda tells Kelly she’ll be here for awhile. I clap out loud and do a little cheer.
9:57 p.m. Debbie and Harry have a steamy bedroom scene. What would Cindy and Jim say about that?
9:58 p.m. Ethan walks up on Annie kissing Ty Collins. It’s official.
9: 59 p.m. I
9:59 p.m. AM
9:59 p.m. ALL
9:59 p.m. IN
10 p.m. I’m happy and relieved. The show has the same tone as the old 90210. There’s a comfortable familiarity to it.
10:02 p.m. It occurs to me that this might speak to the former fans like myself but will those who never watched the original like it?
10:03 p.m. And I’m panicking again.
Where Have I Seen Them Before?
Michelle recognized Cress Williams as the assassin for The Company on Prison Break. He’s Miranda’s estranged husband on Grey’s Anatomy, Jeanie’s husband on ER, Nathan on Veronica Mars and basketball player D’Shawn Hardell on 90210.
Sarah Wright was the model Pete met in the elevator and went home with on Mad Men. She was Jane on 7th Heaven and Paige on Quintuplets. Alexandra Paul was Duck’s ex-wife Pauline. She was Terri on Melrose Place and Stephanie Holden on Baywatch.
Sarah Clarke was the FBI agent trying to pull her partner out of being undercover on The Cleaner. Clarke was of course Nina, one of the best villains 24 ever had. Jeffrey D. Sams was the brother of the drug addict. Sams was Terrance Cook on Veronica Mars and Detective Cyrus Lockwood on CSI.
That’s all for today. And it was Michael getting his tatoo removed on Prison Break that made me exclaim "finally!" I’m back on Friday with quotes of the week and to talk about the series premiere of True Blood and the return of Entourage. And coming next week, the series premiere of Fringe and the return of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Have a question? Seen a familiar face? Want to nominate a quote of the week? Write me at email@example.com