Oh boy. I wasn’t quite sure where this season of Ugly Betty was going, but the third episode in was not only juicy, but kind of touching as well.
Spoilers in Size 11 shoes and a dusty jacket.
So when we last saw Christina, she was out cold after a mysterious person pushed her down a flight of stairs. Fast forward to the next day, and Daniel asks Betty to dry clean a really dusty jacket and then says if anyone asks where he was last night, give the excuse that he was wrapping stuff up at Player magazine.
Uh, why do you need an excuse in the first place, Danny boy? Ooh, mysterioso. Unfortunately, not sharing the truth with Betty bites him in the butt because our girl cannot lie. So when the 5-0 comes by Mode — allowing Amanda to get all sex kitten-y and hit on Mr. Kelly Ripa — Betty breaks under interrogation and blurts out she doesn’t know where Daniel was the previous evening. D’oh.
Add to that that the exact same Size 11 shoe prints match the soles of the shoes in Daniel’s office, and in a jiffy Daniel is whisked off to jail. Before he can get hit on by his cellmate though, a quick $200,000 bond frees him.
In one fun sequence, Betty gets all sleuthy on an information scavenger hunt when she discovers that the security tape that night was stolen. This leads her to Amanda, then to Marc (who reveals his habit of screaming at a uber-creepy Wilhelmina mannequin in privacy), then to Claire (who was martini-soaked last night) and finally to Alexis, who took care of Claire for the rest of the evening.
Faced with a dead end, Betty goes to the scene of the crime with MarcManda trooping alongside her. Jokingly — or not — they say they need to recreate the crime, but get muddled up causing them all to tumble down. When Betty realizes that it’s dusty down there, she flashes back to the jacket Daniel had her clean. Ay! Say it isn’t so!
Finding the security tape in his briefcase seems to seal his guilt with her … until she watches it (but not before lots of hand-wringing and worrying to Papi who finally knocks some sense into her). Wait, it’s not the crime on the tape, but Daniel boinking a woman on the copier! Uh yeah, he finally admits that he’s been sleeping with Holly, the state department liason handling his custody case for DJ. Okay, I know you’re a lady magnet and kind of dim, but seriously?
Everything comes to light though when Betty discovers that Alexis had borrowed Daniel’s jacket. Therefore she was probably the one who made it dusty. Post sex change, she still has Size 11 shoes. She pushed Christina! Alexis soberly confesses that pushing Xtina was an impulse springing from her frustation with Wilhelmina and her claim on the companythrough the Bradford fetus.
Just before Alexis whisked away, she whispers to Claire that the paternity results showed that she, Alexis, had fathered DJ, not Daniel. Whoa. Uhh, I should have seen that one coming, but now my mind is trying to figure out what this means.
If Alexis is in jail, and somehow the paternity results come to light, then Daniel doesn’t stand a chance, does he? Finally I understand what part DJ plays here. (Although I admit, for the longest time I suspected that he had borrowed Daniel’s shoes and pushed Christina. To what purpose, I’m not sure, but I guess it just shows how much I disliked his character. Apologies.)
The B plot is pretty quick and dirty: Betty, who Papi warns is too trusting, entrusts Hilda with her apartment key so Hilda can meet with Coach Tony in privacy. Eww, I’m sorry but if you get into that habit, you know that they’ll be some coach-on-beautician action going on there soon. The end result though is that Papi discovers the coach is married, gets mad at Hilda for being the other woman and then finally forgives her.
Some other musings and highlights:
– I want Betty’s bag with the bespectacled doll on it! Can anyone help me?
– Speaking of … ever since the show moved to New York to shoot, I’ve noticed a distinct difference in characters’ styles. Betty’s has improved. Claire looks totally hot. Marc is more stylish and casual. I’m not terribly crazy about Wilhelmina’s bright palette tonight though.
– Papi has had a racy few days! First he catches the Coach nude (very nice muscle tone in front and behind), then he watches the Daniel-boinking surveillance tape with Betty. Hmm, I’d feel better if the sexiness didn’t always involve his daughters somehow. Really, Ignacio needs some love!
– Is it just me, or is this the first episode where the Suarezes finally lapse into Spanish when they’re upset? It’s about time they added that touch of realism.
– Wil calls Christina a "Scottish rent-a-womb"
– Justin: "That Mariska Hargitay wears some amazing pantsuits."
– Jeez, can Wil actually have a heart? She’s actually considerate of Christina after learning that Stuart is dying since the treatment didn’t work.
– The Wilamannequin also scares me a little. Okay, a lot.
– Claire’s prison advice: "Do your own time, and don’t trust the popo."
– Neighbor Jesse borrowed Betty’s umbrella and left a note. Okay, I know we’re giving the girl time to focus on her career here, but I’d like a little flirtation. Please?
How did you like this episode? Any thoughts as to where this is going?