Put away your wire hangers, Nico, because Lipstick Jungle introduced Kirby’s mother tonight and guess what? She’s just not that into you.
Nico starts the hour in a tizzy because of Kirby’s mother Tina’s imminent visit. She goes to Victory for fashion advice with the plea: "I need your help. I’m trying to decougarize." Hee. Victory helps her choose an outfit and advises her that the best way to impress Kirby’s mom is to ditch the reservations at a fancy restaurant and cook her a home cooked meal instead. Nico does just that and when Tina shows up for dinner it’s none other than Rosanna Arquette, and the resemblance between her and Kim Raver is a bit creepy. Are there any mother issues you want to tell us about, Kirby? Tina immediately starts making small digs at Nico’s fancy outfit and bone china, so you know this is going to be quite a bumpy ride for our favorite magazine editor. Things get even odder when they find out they were at the same concert in the city some two decades ago. We get it, they’re old! And sort of the same! The uncomfortable factor goes through the roof, however, when Tina casually mentions Nico and Kirby’s affair to Nico when Kirby isn’t around. Yikes, lady. Boundaries!
After Tina leaves, Kirby seems happy with how everything went but Nico is pretty shaken. I have to admit, when Kirby’s first reaction of his mother leaving is to get frisky with his look-alike older girlfriend, the creep factor goes up about 100 notches. Shudder. To her credit, Nico notices the similarity and is about as weirded out as I am, which comforts me. Wendy and Victory meet Tina at a very fun-looking sports party for Nico’s new sports themed magazine Hang Time with several sports stars in attendance, including Tiki Barber and some New York Knick (sorry I don’t follow basketball). Both Wendy and Victory notice that notice something about Tina is "off" and warn Nico to be careful. Tina certainly angers me (and Nico) when she compares Nico’s relationship with Kirby to a dress Nico wears a few times and throws away. She gets even meaner when she asks Nico if she really wants to marry Kirby and have kids with him. Nico shows what she’s made of when she calls Tina out on her comments in front of Kirby and then asks him to move in with her. Oh, Nico. I admire your moxie, but never make a major life decision out of the desire to stick it to someone. That just can’t end well.
When confronted, Tina admits to Kirby that her plan all along was to come to New York and make Kirby see that he’s a passenger in his own life because of Nico’s fabulousness. Boo, Tina! Way to crap on the powerful woman. Kirby is rightfully upset about the way Nico asked him to move in (and obviously something his mother said also got to him deep down) because he finally asks the question that’s been in the back of his mind since Charles’ death: if Charles hadn’t died, would Nico have come back to him? Nico says she can’t honestly answer that question, but she does tell him she loves him and hopes that is enough. I really do like Nico and Kirby together, but I think it’s time to switch things up. Let Kirby get some success with his photography and have Nico squirm a bit for a change, because this storyline is getting a bit stale.
Wendy is busy this week working on her new script from the copy shop girl. Shane is busy as well, meeting with a manager. When Wendy inquires about the manager, Shane admits he already signed with her without going to Wendy for advice first. Wendy immediately Googles new manager Josie Scotto and finds out she’s a total babe who has a picture of herself on her website, which is weird for a manager. Right? Anywho, this new hottie manager is played by Vanessa Marcil, and any self-respecting Beverly Hills 90210 fan knows she’s nothing but trouble. (I know, she was on General Hospital and Las Vegas but I didn’t watch those shows so I can’t reference them and had to go old school. Sorry!) Wendy and Shane attend dinner with Josie and the producer of the film Shane is scoring, and it becomes increasingly clear that the producer only hired Shane so he could get Wendy on as a producer on the film as well. Shane is understandably uncomfortable, but when Wendy offers to turn down the offer he tells her to take it. Wendy immediately butts in and drives Shane crazy, with things getting even more confusing when Wendy the producer and Wendy the wife get mixed up and Shane gets caught in the middle.
In the middle of all this, Wendy is faced with seeing Dennis again (he of the unwanted kiss) which causes much uncomfortable tension when Dennis and Shane see each other for the first time since the incident. After seeing Dennis she tells Shane she’ll drop out of the movie, and admits she only did it because she was threatened by Josie due to what happened between her and Dennis a few weeks ago. Shane gets angry because she waited so long to tell him and made him look like a fool in front of Dennis. Shane asks if Wendy wanted to sleep with him, which she denies. Wendy admits she’s just feeling insecure because she’s home all the time now and Shane is surrounded by hot Josie and movie actresses, but he says he doesn’t want any of them, he just wants Wendy. Aw. Thank you show, for handling that well and giving Paul Blackthorne more to do this week. Now let’s not have him go back on his word and have an affair with hot Josie, OK?
Victory is tense this week because Joe won’t return any of her calls and she is in a crisis getting ready for a pitch with a professional tennis player (think Anna Kournikova) to design her new sportswear line. Joe’s
assistant tries to intervene and get Joe and Victory back together, or at least get Joe to return her business calls, but all Joe can think
about is breaking it off with Victory for good and asking his assistant whether
or not she returned the ring. Nico, after finding out Victory and Rodrigo are through, confronts Joe about what he is doing
and Joe basically admits that the only reason he bought Victory’s
company was to win her back and since he hasn’t been able to do that,
he wants out of the partnership. Nico convinces him Victory needs a
business partner, but implies that she needs more than that as well.
Joe shows up at the Hang Time party as promised and Victory gives him a piece of
her mind for abandoning her when she needed his help with a business
matter. He and Victory attend the tennis pro meeting together and Victory
makes several mistakes about the game of tennis, angering her potential client, and Joe just leaves her hanging
out to dry throughout the whole thing. I know he’s hurt, but…what a jerk! When Victory confronts him after the meeting about his attitude
and why he’s the only person not happy for her recent success, Joe
responds with a query about what he is to her — her investor, her
friend, her business partner, or her lover? They part ways with things
unresolved for Victory, until Joe’s assistant shows up at Victory’s
house and accidentally spills the beans about Joe buying a ring for
her. Victory is floored, and Lindsay Price’s reaction to the news is
quite touching. The show ends with Joe in front of the jewelry store and looking at the ring.
Will he return it, or will he finally propose? According to the
previews, we’ll find out next week. See you then!
What did you guys think? Were you creeped out by Nico and Tina’s resemblance? Will Shane cheat on Wendy with hot manager Josie? Will Joe propose to Victory? If he does, should Victory accept considering what a turd he’s been lately?