When we last left our Momma’s Boys and their bachelorettes, Jojo’s mom Khalood was house enemy number one for being uber-prejudice. On the first night, the first of what I’m sure will be many confrontations with her began. I hate you Ryan Seacrest.
Spoilers, like anyone cares
This week’s ep picks up with a quick recap of the girls meeting the mothers. Khalood, aka Mrs. B, is involved in a heated argument with Military nurse Vita. Mrs’ B calls her a bitch which causes her to throw her drink down in a well deserved "I’m sorry, what?" moment. Pretty much every other African American or mixed contestant in the house had gathered for the argument and half of them hold Vita back as Mrs. B walks away while half quasi-follow, Lynette leading the way and trying to sort of diffuse the situation by explaining where they’re coming from. Donna tells Mrs. B that the things she was saying on the tape disturbed everyone and likened her laundry list of unacceptable woman to the hateful rhetoric of Adolph Hitler.
Mrs. B doesn’t agree and says that she’s just upfront about the people she doesn’t like, regardless of color. Vita confessionals that she realizes she lost her cool and wants to be the bigger person so she goes and apologizes later. Khalood accepts the apology and confessionals that she forgives but doesn’t forget. Vita admits saying she was sorry was the hardest thing she’s had to do since she knows Mrs. B will never accept her.
The sleeping arrangement with the mothers was that they were all assigned a bed in one of the communal rooms with bachelorettes. Mrs. B, however, decides she wants to sleep on the couch because she’s still upset about being confronted about her uber-prejudices. The next morning, Cara shows off some of her lingerie to Esther, Rob’s mom. Esther is at a loss for words. Mrs. B is in the kitchen as Vita comes to walk outside and immediately is asked if there’s going to be trouble. Nice. Vita realizes she needs time with Jojo to prove she’s not as awful as Khalood thinks she is.
As the first elimination night approaches, Mrs. B goes to see Jojo to help him pick out clothes…but really to get him to kick off all the ethnic girls. She doesn’t trust Misty because she’s too friendly (and also doesn’t like the way she dresses). Meanwhile, Lorraine is visiting Michael and going over his choices. They disagree on Cara. Rob tells Esther that he also has interest in Cara, though he didn’t get to meet her, because he likes her eyes. Her crazy eyes. Esther, naturally, is not feeling her either. Mrs. B tells Jojo that Vita "mentally attacked" her and that she’s out. However, Jojo had a rapport with her and tells his mom that you can’t judge people by their ethnicity. As she leaves, she asks him to make her happy with his picks (and he counters that he’s not going to pick girls he doesn’t like just to make her happy).
Before the first ceremonial boot to the hindquarters, there’s a cocktail party so everyone can mingle one last time. Also, this is an opportunity for the moms to present girls they like. Megan, who works with animals, is introduced to Rob by Esther who’s impressed that’s she’s so "domesticated" – aka she cleans up after people. Vita steals Jojo away at one point while he and his mother were talking with Jessica. She apologizes to him about the blow up saying her emotions got the best of her since she feels his mom isn’t giving people a chance bases on physical attributes. Vita says she already apologized to Mrs. B but knows she owes Jojo one as well. He says he doesn’t really owe him an apology and acknowledges that she probably rolled her eyes at Vita. While he admits his mother has quite a bit of influence on his decision, ultimately it’s up to him. Jojo confessionals that he has a lot of respect for her.
The girls are gathered in a room awaiting their fates when Momma’s Little Bachelors all appear. Rob reads the note that explains how the elimination is going to go. Each girl will get a cell phone. If any of the three have a strong interest, they will get a "yes" text. If not, they’ll get a no. If there’s any sort of indecision, the girl will get a text to meet them by the pool later. Ten women in total will be sent home. They leave after that and the girls grab their phones, anxiously waiting for texts.
Misty gets a yes, which is awesome. Donna and Natalie (boo!) get a no. Meanwhile Cara can’t figure out how to open her text message. Her’s is a maybe and she’s all smooshy faced about it. Lynette also gets a maybe. Megan the animal trainer will be at the pool as well, all the girls are giving her moral support and hoping she’ll be staying. Jessica, 24 from Atlanta, also gets a no and is very upset because she knows that some of the girls are there for the wrong reasons and get to stay while many of the sincere contestants are getting the ax. She’s gorgeous (she has a Lynda Carter vibe to her) and seems really cool so I don’t get it. The last person to get a text is Vita who’s going to the pool. Khalood immediately says she thinks she’s going home. Stay classy, lady.
There are five girls total at the pool. Rob says he finds the situation uncomfortable because he can see the fear and apprehension in the girls’ eyes. Michael explains that this is a time for all parties to be honest. Eight girls have been sent home and two more have to go. The way it works is that each guy gets to save a girl – kind of like musical chairs but worse.
Madeline is the first called out, we haven’t seen much of her. Rob doesn’t chose to save her. Michael doesn’t either, which sucks since she confesses to wanting to get to know him more. Jojo didn’t feel a connection either and she’s the first out. She reacts angrily, calling the guys morons since their choosing "stupid girls" like Brittney and Nikki to stay. I like her sass. Aw.
Sweet little Megan is the next up. Rob says she thinks she’s very sweet but thinks she’s a little timid. When he asks her to stay, applause erupts from the girls watching. Cara is next. Jojo says he thinks she’s real pretty but didn’t feel a connection with her. Rob says he’d like to get to know her more but doesn’t think she feels the same. Michael, of course, saves her. Lorraine is disappointed because this isn’t one of the girls she picked for him.
Crap, it’s down to Lynette and Vita. I like them both. Neither Michael or Rob feels any chemistry with her. Jojo says he respects everything about her but feels really bad they "had to meet in such unfortunate circumstances." Jojo asks her to stay and Mrs. B starts cussing. Rob is the only one who addresses Lynette, saying he’s impressed with her and that she’s a great person. She’s disappointed that he’s the one to send her home since he’s the one she thought was going to save her. Double boo.
Of course, to keep with her classy ways, as soon as Lynette walks away, Mrs. B yells down to Jojo that he’s in trouble. Everyone comes filing down the stairs from the patio where they were watching. Khalood leads the way and begins ripping into Jojo. She even calls her ugly to him. She scoffs when he says he’d rather talk her than some of the other girls and also hard sells the "you’re picking a girl over your mother" line. Jojo confessionals that he sees a bit of his mom in Vita. Um…is that a compliment? Vita comes and hugs Jojo in the middle of the conversation. Awesome.
After the guys leave, a bunch of people are in the kitchen. Vita is eating a snack and Mrs. B says she’d "control" herself if she were her. Vita says the same thing back. When Khalood says there’s no way she’ll let Vita get close to Jojo, Vita counters by saying she’s her new daughter-in-law and that she can call her "Mrs. B" – a comment that gets the "shocked yet amused by the drama" face from one of the other girls.
There are a couple girls in the hot tub to blow off some steam from the stress of elimination. Jessica is burping a lot and Lorraine calls down from the patio that it’s disgusting. At first Esther says she can’t help it because she must be stuffed up, but a long big one converts her to Lorraine’s thinking.
The next morning, Dana White, President of the UFC, visits with five of his fighters for the first "suitability challenge", whatever that means. It’s an eleven-minute workout designed for the fighters and is the hardest. workout. ever. The four girls who do the best will be safe from elimination. They tell the girls that it’s not a race, it’s about endurance – who can fight through the pain. The workout includes giant tire-flipping, boxing with gloves, hitting a rubber bit with a sledgehammer, pulling against a rubber band tied to the waist, and stationary bicycling. Megan is having fun with it. Brittany rips a big chunk of her nail off on the tire but keeps going despite the bleeding, getting props from Dana. The guys show up to watch the girls. Due to the bachelorettes’ sexy workout gear, Michael likens it to the workout room at the Playboy Mansion. Lovely.
Since fair is fair, the guys try it next. All the girls gather around to watch and notice all the guys are trying to out-do each other. Rob is having a really hard time and Dana says he thinks the girls did better than the guys overall. Jojo and Rob are totally wiped afterward, with Michael being the only one okay. Jojo throws up while Rob seems to be suffering from heat exhaustion or dehydration. He also throws up. Jojo gets some oxygen while Michael, who is trained in emergency medical procedures, tends to Rob with an assist from Amanda who is a medical student. Rob’s blood pressure was low and his pulse was high so they administer oxygen. He’s embarrassed but Amanda stays by him and consoles him. All the girls had gone to the back of the house while Erica, the undercover Penthouse model, stays to see if he’s okay. But Rob’s not getting better so the ambulance comes to get him and take him for emergency care. Esther rides with him and everyone is concerned.
Dana comes and addresses everyone, saying how impressed he is that none of the girls quit. He doesn’t want to have to pick four people, but those are the rules and they chose Camilla, Stacy, Cara (who he says is a little crazy and punches like a man), and Brittney. Brittney is really excited since Mrs. B doesn’t like her (because she’s half Jewish) and this guarantees she’ll be around another week.
Three hours later, Rob and Esther make their way back to the house. He’s embarrassed and not totally looking forward to returning. Esther assures him that everyone will be excited to see him.
Dear heaven, there’s a whole other hour.
All the moms have planned group dates. Mrs. B brings everyone to an ice rink. Jojo’s already there in his hockey gear and skating. He goes around helping the girls into their stuff so he can sneak some body contact in front of Mommy Dearest. Cara hates everything that has to do with cold weather. At the end of the group date, he’ll pick a girl to go on a solo date with. She wants him to pick Liz, who I don’t recall the producers introducing us to. The girls in the white jerseys will work on passing. Khalood doesn’t like that some of the girls are checking their hair. Whatever. If a girl straightens her hair with a hot comb or flat iron and is sweating while in a cold, moist environment, she has every right to check on it. She also notices him gravitating towards Brittney and doesn’t like it, calling her a weasel. *giant sigh* He gets one-on-one time with each girl in the penalty box. When he spends time with Sweet Little Megan, he has her take off her glasses. He thinks she’s a total sweetheart. Yay, because I like her.
Consulting with mom before making his pick, she tells Jojo to pick Liz and not Vita. He skates up to Brittney and asks her on the date. She expresses her displeasure in the van with eight of the girls, also vowing to get back at Jojo for it. Wow.
Their date is horseback riding on the beach at sunset. The horses, when they walk them back, push them closer together. After they stop moving, he kisses her. He found it to be very natural. Back at the house, Mrs. B is still mewling about her choice, expressing displeasure that Brittney has a "big booty" (meaning "not flat") which gets an eye flair of disgust from one of the girls. After the date, they came back to the house and went into the hot tub – the other girls watch and they kiss. The girls also watch as Mrs. B goes down to the hot tub to interrupt them. She calls his name a couple times but he doesn’t hear it until the fifth or sixth one. She gets in with them as some of the other girls laugh and remark at how awkward that is. Jojo also found it awkward and a total mood killer. She also tells him to explore other options. Nice. She finally leaves after forever and, as soon as she’s out of sight, they start making out again. Then Mrs. B calls out that it’s enough and, if Brittney respects her, she’ll stop. That’s a c-block of epic proportions.
Lorraine sets up Micheal’s group date at a fire training facility so the girls can experience what he does for a living. They gear up and the carry equipment up the stairs and practice putting out fires. His plan is to talk to girls that are his type and ones his mother picked for him. Their one-on-one time is spent on a fire truck. He says that there are some phsyical looks he tends to be attracted to and Michelle falls into one of those categories. Lorraine is not pleased because he’s dated these types of girls before – lots of makeup, big boobs (real or fake), and blondes I’m guessing. She also doesn’t like Meghan, the rocker hairstylist/bartender from Texas. To counteract this, all of mom’s picks are brunette. One of Lorraine’s favorites is Erica who she calls wholesome and very reserved. Won’t she be surprised…
Michael picks Michelle for his date and Lorraine is not happy. Michelle, if you don’t recall, is the girl who used student loan money to pay for her second boob job. Lorraine hugs her son after his pick and whispers in his ear, "I’m going to $(&*^&* kill you" while smiling before also hugging his date. She walks off by herself and is upset that he picked the one girl she told him wasn’t right for him.
A brief digression: I’m totally excited for Superstars of Dance.
Michael and Michelle’s date that night involve a boat ride in a marina. They start making out while they’re driving and almost crash into another boat. Back at the house, Lorraine is unhappy still and Mrs. B says she hopes they end up in the hot tub so she can teach her how to swim. That would be a nice gesture if it wasn’t coming from her.
Strangely enough, Michael and Michelle end up in the hot tub much like Jojo and Brittney, only Michael brings champagne to the party. Michael says Michelle could be a Barbie doll, "she’s that beautiful." As a former Barbie-phile (between me and my sister, we’d amassed 156 by my eleventh birthday), I disagree. They also make-out…a lot. Michael admits that he loves blonde hair and nice bodies. He’s getting less and less attractive. Lorraine confessionals that she gets disappointed in him and tears up because she’s proud of him and doesn’t like feeling that way. After the date, Michelle talks to Lorraine after it and shares an awful lot of info about the date. Lorraine to her credit, holds it together pretty well despite her feelings being very hurt. She adds to her confessional that she feels, at this point, if her opinion isn’t going to make a positive impact, she might as well go home.
For Rob’s group date, Esther sets up a picnic at a wine vineyard. There were also a bunch of fun activities. He spends one-on-one time with all the girls. Rob also really digs Sweet Little Megan – how could he not? She’s adorable. But he ends up picking Amanda, who helped take care of him after the workout, for his date. They do wine tasting. She’s really cool and can speak fluent Spanish and some Portuguese. She also really likes working in the trauma ward. He’s the only one who didn’t slob up his date. They shared a nice kiss at the end.
The end of our next hour brings us to our second elimination. The mothers go visit their sons to help them get ready and share their thoughts. Lorraine shares her thoughts about questioning why she’s there with Michael. She tears up and says that, while it ultimately is going to be his decision, if he’s not going to listen to what she has to say she doesn’t see the point of being there. Esther and Rob talk about Lauren and he tells mom that she likes her more than he does. This is the first little dust-up they’ve had and it’s really minor in comparison to the other fireworks. Jojo asks why his mom doesn’t like Brittney and what she says is irrelevant because you know it’s all negative. He gets a little irritated at this point because he feels that no girl is going to be good enough. Meanwhile, Lorraine lays into Michael for being superficial and finds out that he’s not really connecting with Erica. Ironic, no? But she asks he gives her a chance.
Esther and Rob are talking to Sweet Little Megan and, when they find out she doesn’t want kids, it becomes an automatic disqualification since Rob ideally wants two or three. Lorraine’s mom brings Amanda to Michael to block Meghan’s attempt to talk to him. Amanda tells him she went on a date and downplays it because she confessionals that the girls are there to meet the boys just as much as they’re there to meet them. Esther notices this since her boy like her too.
While some girls have gotten yes texts (including Misty and Amanda), Michelle stands in a small group that are talking to Lorraine. She says she’d dye her hair for Micheal’s mom and asks her how she feels about implants. Lorraine feels like she’s maybe trying to push her buttons, but she plays it off well. Michelle get her yes text while she’s there. Vita gets sent home and is very upset. She and Khalood actually share a touching moment at the end, they hug and Mrs. B says she wishes her dreams would come true. She also acknowledges that the butt heads because they have the same personality type. And, shock of all shocks, she actually cries in her confessional. It shocks Mrs. B too.
When Sweet Little Megan gets sent to the pool again, Stacy decides to give her a makeover to pump up her hottie factor. Lauren and a two other girls also join in. Anyone who didn’t see this coming, raise your hand. Anyone? No one? Bueller? Meanwhile, Amanda also notices that whenever she tries to talk to Lorraine, Esther runs up to mom-block. Julie notices that they’re bickering over sleeping arrangements but thinks it’s really about Amanda, which is a great observation.
There are only three girls at the pool this time – Carina, Lauren and Sweet Little Megan. Jojo gives her a wow since she’s been changes into a little black dress with her hair down. Four women have already been cut and one more has to go. Lauren is addressed first. She’s pretty. Jojo says he can’t say anything bad about her but he says they both can agree that there really isn’t there – she agrees. Michael also doesn’t feel a connection. But Rob mentions that Esther is crazy about her but feels like she’s a bit ahead of the curve. He feels that there’s something there to pursue and Lauren agrees. So, consider her saved. A couple girls run down the stairs to hug her on the way back.
It’s down to Carina and Megan now. Rob says she has so much to offer and she’s the sweetest girl but, based on the kids thing, it’s a no. Micheal’s eyes light up a little more since she looks hot but doesn’t feel a connection. They all compliment on her on how she’s come out of her shell, but Jojo asks specifically if she’s there to meet them. Megan admits that she’s never been emotionally attached really to someone but is ready for that now, tearing up as she speaks. Luckily for her, Jojo was looking to save her. So Megan gets to stay. She stands there in shock and Jojo hugs her, telling her shes staying for her personality not just the makeover as other girls cheer. However, she doesn’t walk up the stairs. Crying and finding it a little hard to speak, she says she doesn’t know what to do because as much as she wants to be there, she doesn’t want to deprive Carina, who has a genuine connection with the guys, an opportunity like this. Hugging her, Megan says she thinks she deserves it more.
Jojo steps forward and takes Megan by the hand. He tells her it’s not about Carina, it’s about her. He doesn’t know who he’s interested in yet but she’s one of girls he’s wants to put his emotions on the line for. He asks that she do the same thing. Some of the other bachelorettes are in tears. Megan doesn’t know what to do and Jojo hugs her. His voice over says that she’s so concerned about other people, she’s not taking her own feelings into consideration.
Crying harder now, Megan says she’s flattered that such wonderful guys want to get to know her better because no guy has ever expressed that sort of interest. She says they’re all wonderful men but she doesn’t think she’s that girl and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because she’s been on the other side. She wishes them the best of luck finding love and Jojo the first one to hug her. He tells her she’s a special girls while the other girls yell out that they love her. Megan says this is the best thing that’s happened to her before walking away. And as she does, the other girls applaud and scream with teary eyes.
Megan, on her exit interview, says she realizes she’s ready for love and cherishes all the genuine friendships she’s made. At the end she says she has absolute faith that there’s someone for everyone and there’s someone out there for her.
Back at the pool, Jojo composes himself (he was tearing and in shock, much like pretty much all the bachelorettes and the mothers) as Michael tells Carina that she staying. She asks if they’re okay with that and they say yes, that it’s a second chance for everyone. But Jojo still looks a little devastated.
What did you think of this week’s mega-episode? How about that Megan? Can we get her a show? P.S. I was watching this ep in high-def and Michelle kind of looked liked she was wearing clown makeup – did anyone else experience this?