Tonight on Stylista, I learned that the 80’s are back, supermodels are obnoxious, and hard work will get you nowhere. And thus I resolve to wear nothing but Hammer Pants and bedazzled t-shirts, insist upon being served organic melon balls everywhere I go, and do nothing but call other people names and be bossy. I’ll be running a fashion magazine in no time!
Assistant Task: Prepare a hotel suite for Maggie Rizer using her absurd contract rider, a $300 budget and two hours. The rider, of course, has a lot of really random items and requests. Dyshaun goes with a quality over quantity strategy while Kate goes balls-out trying to get everything. Johanna focuses on the dog-related requests, and Ashlie is methodical in trying to get everything set. Megan…is Megan (i.e. too awful for me to pay close attention lest my head explode). Dyshaun wins the challenge thanks to keeping the food wrapped and buying thoughtful items. Ashlie commits the cardinal sin of leaving (deadly to dogs) chocolate within reach of the dogs. Yikes.
Editorial Challenge: To create a four-page fashion layout for Elle and style the model for the shoot using clothing and accessories from the Elle closet. They’ll be directing hair and makeup as well as the photographer and model. Dyshaun thinks he’s got it in the bag as a stylist, and chooses Megan and Johanna for his team, teaming up Kate with Ashlie again.
Team Underdog: They’re working largely with black clothing and splashes of color, collaborating as a team and enjoying their time together. WHAT?!! This is a disturbing lack of drama. Though Kate does take all the swimsuits, pissing off the other team. Their shoot goes really well well and it’s muuuch more conceptual and creative than Team Megan Sucks’ shoot. Dyshaun and Megan laugh at loud during their shoot, which is pretty weak, but they quickly realize how much better Team Underdog is doing.
They actually have so many great shots that they’re crunched on time just choosing between them and creating a cohesive layout. I worry a bit that they’ll end up with a photo mosaic rather than a layout page. Their layout borrows a lot from the 80’s, and it has a clear point of view with really fun, creative photos. Joe Zee applauds them from thinking out of the box and taking risks. Slowey thinks there may be too many pictures, however. The judges worry that they were too in love with their work to a) edit and b) accept criticism.
Team Megan Sucks: Dyshaun tries to get in Kate’s head by asking her if she likes tacky items, and then not using them if she says yes. Ugh. They go for a playful/sophisticated/ladylike look (what?), with many, many colors. Dyshaun tries to be all bossy and leader-like, but it just comes off as douchy and wannabe 80’s executive: "I need her made up, like, five minutes ago." Um, Dyshaun, that expression is, like, five billion years ago. Johanna, worried that she’ll be headed home after so many weeks on the losing team, tries to step up on the layout. Dyshaun spends his time being a jerk to Team Underdog, even calling Kate "Chlamydia." UGH. She leaves in tears, of course.
Their layout is lighter on the photos, and Joe Zee loves it, but he thinks they played it safe. The photos are very catalogue, as Tyra would say. Slowey finds it professional, though. Kate freaks out a bit and says to the judges that Team Megan Sucks didn’t consult with the hair and makeup people at all after the first 20 minutes. Um, that’s pretty uncool, no matter what STD they called her. But okay, seriously, HOW could the judges like their boring photos better? Throwing a crayon box worth of colors together in one outfit isn’t exactly what they meant by risk-taking, was it?
Results: The judges name Team Megan Sucks the winners, and I take to the streets in riotous protest. Well, not exactly. No one cares about Stylista THAT much. It was the failure in editing that brought about Team Underdog’s downfall, and the judges are seriously concerned both with Kate’s lack of professionalism and Ashlie’s layout. Ashlie rightly earns another week, and Kate says that she hates the "abusive," "wicked" other team and that it would be a mistake to hire any of them — she’s happy to no longer work with them. And yet sounds oddly positive saying it.
Is it possible that I was secretly rooting for Kate this entire time? Because I’m kind of sad to see her go. I’m pretty confident that she was the most talented stylist in the group, at least. But I guess that’s like saying I’m the most talented baseball player amongst a group of T-ballers.
Did anyone actually think Team Megan Sucks deserved to win? Who should’ve been eliminated?