We join our American Idol judges and Ryan Seacrest at Churchill Downs in Louisville, KY. I hope we have more good singers than we had in San Francisco, CA. Who will make it through? THIS… IS AMERICAN IDOL? [Bah dah da-da-da-da-da-da-da- bah duhhhhhh!]
The first audition is Tiffany Shedd. She's a skanky 18 year-old who needs to let her natural hair color out. I'm scared by her hair. She sings "Hero" and it's predictably bad. She's like anorexic Anna-Nicole on meth. Yikes.
The first GOOD audition is Joanna Pacitti. She's a horse-faced Lily Garrity, which I don't necessarily mean as a bad thing. The judges immediately identify her as a ringer, which is good considering past seasons' reactions to "ringers." She sings "We Belong" and she rocks it. I really enjoy her audition. Her switching between belting voice and head voice is fantastic. She is through unanimously. Yay!
Mark Mudd is our next serial killer auditioner. Seriously, this guy could play Dave on this season's Desperate Housewives. Turns out Mr. Mudd's great-great-grandfather is the man who set Wilkes-Booth's leg after he shot Lincoln. Oh dear. He sings "White Lightning" and it's terrifying. It's like when the retarded cousin (because of incest) starts singing at your family reunion. Oh dear. Simon is frightened, Paula tries to play nice and Mark tells them to "be careful" over the strains of the "Deliverance" theme song. Eek.
They do then get to hear Brent Keith sing "Can't Get Enough" and it's very much Keith Urban singing a 70s rock song. It would be very popular on country stations today. The judges love him, except Simon wants more emotion and this implodes into a giant judge clustf*#k on national TV and it's kind of gross. Paula and Kara are both "going down" and I'm suddenly crying into my blanket because I'm so scared. Good lord.
Coing back we get a scary lady singing "Over the Rainbow," one of the Lollypop League, one of the Nelson twins, a lost member of Kiss, and a giant Michael Jackson.
Next we get Matt Giraud, who sings "I Don't Wanna Be" by (not originally) Gavin McGraw. He's actually pretty good. Not a great theatre voice or performance voice, but a very good pop voice. There is such a huge difference. Simon wants Matt to believe in himself more, but he is through unanimously.
Ross Plavsic is our residential "Beautiful Mind" contestant. He's a total nerd and not in a good way. I'm actually kind of scared of this guy. He sings a song I honestly cannot recognize. Oh yikes. The judges have a bit of fun with him, which is kind of sad. GET THE HOOK!
Montage of good singers. Wouldn't it have been great to see them actually sing, instead of these crazy people? Yes, I agree.
Our next stay-at-home-mom auditioner is Alexis Grace and she's adorable and has a husband in the military and a 2 year-old girl. Alexis is totally going to make it. Sigh. She sings "Dr. Feelgood" and Paula starts to recognize like an African-American preacher. She wants to see more stage presence, though. Based on voice along, though, all the judges put her through. Kara does advise her to "make love to her fiance," which is kinda creepy. Kara's gettng a little dirty.
At the end of the day, we get a montage of judges yawning. Awesome. Imagine what it's like for us viewers.
We move on to Aaron Williamson, who is a very energetic Louisville native. He introduces himself as wanting to be "American's Next Top Model," which is an awesome slip-up, and then he sings "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" and it is… terrifying. There is a lot of screaming. Is a girl being murdered in the studio? Seriously? Moving on.
Next up is Rebecca Garcia. She sings "Before He Cheats" and it's horrible. Seriously, what is happening? I thought we were supposed to see good people? American Idol lied to me and I don't like it. Seriously, both San Francisco and Louisville were horrible. Where are all the good people?!?!
Montage of Good People. Boy, people I wish I'd seen. Wow. That's new. I'm so irritated. Why can't we see actual auditions of these people?!?!
Leneshe Young is a 18 year-old cutie who grew up homeless and in shelters. Leneshe and her mom have a moment and then Leneshe sings "Natty," an original song, and it's very good. Wow. I am surprised. The musicality is fantastic and the girl's attitude is very cute. Simon recognizes the quality of her song and so do I. Wow.
Well, what did you think of Louisville? I wish we had seen more good singers. I'm kind of annoyed with this season so far. More good singers, less trainwrecks! Andrea out.