Today's cuppa: English afternoon tea
I previously Twitterblogged a single segment of the Discovery Channel series "Dirty Jobs," so last night, I took it to the next level and did a full episode, which turned out to be very dirty indeed.
those not familiar with Twitter, it's a microblogging service that
allows users to send out short messages — 140 characters or less —
called "tweets," either to a closed group of friends or out into the
general Twitter stream (which is Google-able).
subscribe to the Twitter feeds of other users, who can in turn
subscribe to theirs (not required, but generally considered polite).
For more details, click here.
And if you like, you may read the tweets while
watching the episode on DVR or VHS. Guarantee they'll make
at least 75 percent more sense.
Most importantly, you must read
the following Twitter stream (in the interests of full disclosure, I
admit that it's been cleaned up a bit from the original for the sake of
clarity and readability) from the BOTTOM UP! The date stamp represents
the time this morning that I grabbed the tweets from my Twitter home page. Here we go:
· Mike makes the plea
for more dirty jobs. Now there's bloopers. Sad. Thought Mike was a professional. Bye now!
· Mike says that Doug
relies upon diapers, but the rest of the crew just depends upon them.
· Mike has assurance
of a job in the dirty-diaper industry if ever that whole TV thing fails to work
· Mike sees a diaper
that's past its prime. Now it becomes a rag. Mike decides to strike a deal.
· Mike reveals that
DirtyJobs uses diapers to clean up the show's frequently grimy cameras. And
lint balls are bad.
· Oops, that's a
stain. Back to the washer for you, and if you're still stained, you're a rag.
So much for you.
· Now there's more
sorting and counting of diapers, now lighter and cleaner and actually white. No
stains going out!
· Mike goes to pick
up the dry diapers at the "Big Dog" dryers, where DiaperManager wants
to "scoop this puppy on up."
· Mike reveals the
dirty diaper secret of Dirty Jobs.
· I wonder if Mike
gets to keep all these baseball caps he gets. And he just had a little stroke.
· Mike just lets out
a long groan after a long time male-bonding with WasherGuy. Pipe down, potty
minds out there.
· Mike finds male
bonding atop a washing machine. Hey, Mike, whatever rotates your agitator.
· Oooh, Mike finds
"residue." I gotta tell ya, that's one word that one never wants to
· Mike offers to help
WasherGuy change his belt. What could be simpler? Oh, nuclear physics, rocket
· Dirty diapers go
through 13 full cycles and then are PH tested to match baby skin. Do you do
that at home?
· WasherGuy used to
be DiaperDriver. Not sure it's a step up.
· Mike says
disposable diapers account for 2 million tons of paper, plastic, pee and poo in
landfills. Thanks for that.
· Washing machine
sensors monitor cleaning fluid in, waste products out. Something's up to date
· Mike sounds like Kim
& Aggie from How Clean Is Your House when encountering bad
· WasherGuy turns on a
fan, and blows the stinkypoo diaper smell out — toward the State Capitol? One
· It is the 21st century
and stinkypoo diapers must be loaded into the washer by hand. My grandmother
· Mike returns to the
land of gigantic washing machines. They make ones three times that size.
· John is a
diaper-counting machine! Now it's time to fix the washer, but the washer
doesn't want to be fixed.
· Would you answer an
ad for a job counting dirty diapers? Would you? Come on, it's honest work!
Dirty, but honest.
· Cameraman Doug gets
the "brown derby" diaper. Poor Doug. Mike's always shaky math skills
fail him once again.
· Oh, now that's an
ugly diaper. A baby produced that? What did they feed it, pureed spinach?
· John sez be careful
how you open bags, because diaper contents can become airborne projectiles.
· Poor John makes a
comment about the smell. My heart goes out to him, but my nose will stay right
where it is.
· Apparently there's a
science to classifying diapers, adult, changing pad, new newborn, toddler.
· Smart John uses
double gloves to count dirty diapers. Mike goes for an apron this time.
· Clean diapers out
equal dirty diapers in, so poor soul John must count dirty diapers. There are
also adult diapers.
· Oooh, the diapers in
that preview don't look good. That particular shade of green has unpleasant
· TideeDidee been
picking up three generations of baby poo in Sacramento, CA
· Mike's going in on
his own, safety first! Sometimes there's money. Lady doesn't appear to realize
Mike's a celebrity.
· DiaperDriver says
babies train faster in cloth diapers than disposable, and no extra poo in the
· Stinky dirty diapers
are heavier than clean. DiaperDriver quips, "I wonder why." His van
gets very full and low.
· Stinky blue dirty
diaper bag waits on customer's porch. Luckily there are no stray cats or
· Mike Rowe climbs
aboard the straight poop express to get the dirty on dirty diapers. Drop off
clean; pick up dirty.
· "How is
cleaning diapers like a trip to the doctor's office? You just turn your head
and cough." I hear that.
· Now I want some
crusty bread and some olive oil to dip it in. Mike just insulted marketing guys
· Mike has a new
experience with a pressure washer. He cleans the "ca-ca hole." He
said that, not me.
· Now he's saying
"moofah." It's something different from "ca-ca." Mike
refuses apron, sez they're "for girls."
· Oil goes into
primary decanter. No, not
· Uh-oh, the ca-ca's
backed up, and we haven't even reached the Diaper Cleaning segment. Now it's composted.
· Olive oil is
lighter than water. After pressing, waste product is called "ca-ca."
Yes, that's what I believe he said.
· No more pressing
olives with your feet. First they get a cold shower, than pulverized. Rough for Mission on
· Purple olives are
fruity and buttery. Don't know if I've seen a purple olive. NewOliveGuy used to
be in motor oil.
· Olive heap —
Manzanilla on top,
· Olives have a
"pressing" engagement with Perry, who's "oily." I just said
that, Mike. The Manzanillas have arrived.
· OliveGuy sez you
must learn olive-growing biz from the bottom up. Yep, he said that. He's kinda
oily that way.
· Olive trees are pretty.
Pal bought one at
· Mike Rowe is told
to approach the irrigation leak from the flank and not make a frontal assault.
Gophers did it.
· Only extra-virgin
olives. No fallen olives. No heat for extra-virgin olive oil. Ordinary virgin
not good enough.
· Mike Rowe teaches
me a new word "rancitify." Then he extols the virtue of olive oil,
which I like on my pasta.
· You comb olives out
of the tree at low-automation boutique farm. Then you make a TV show about it.
· The oil of Mission
Olives is grassy. Perhaps they're on a green-olive mission. Can't spell other
· Hot, dry Arizona
& presses olive oil. OliveGuy says raw olives are full of bitter water. I
· Starting out with a
martini in need of an olive. Mike Rowe discovers raw olives don't taste good.
How to fix that?
· "I'm Mike
Rowe, and this is my job." Welcome to the Dirty Jobs Twitterblog. Is it
spoilery? What? Have you ever seen the show?