Today's cuppa: English afternoon tea

DIRTYJOBS042_m

I previously Twitterblogged a single segment of the Discovery Channel series "Dirty Jobs," so last night, I took it to the next level and did a full episode, which turned out to be very dirty indeed.

For

those not familiar with Twitter, it's a microblogging service that

allows users to send out short messages — 140 characters or less —

called "tweets," either to a closed group of friends or out into the

general Twitter stream (which is Google-able).

Users can

subscribe to the Twitter feeds of other users, who can in turn

subscribe to theirs (not required, but generally considered polite).

For more details, click here.

And if you like, you may read the tweets while

watching the episode on DVR or VHS. Guarantee they'll make

at least 75 percent more sense.

Most importantly, you must read

the following Twitter stream (in the interests of full disclosure, I

admit that it's been cleaned up a bit from the original for the sake of

clarity and readability) from the BOTTOM UP! The date stamp represents

the time this morning that I grabbed the tweets from my Twitter home page. Here we go:

·  Mike makes the plea

for more dirty jobs. Now there's bloopers. Sad. Thought Mike was a professional. Bye now! about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike says that Doug

relies upon diapers, but the rest of the crew just depends upon them. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike has assurance

of a job in the dirty-diaper industry if ever that whole TV thing fails to work

out. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike sees a diaper

that's past its prime. Now it becomes a rag. Mike decides to strike a deal.

Good capitalist! about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike reveals that

DirtyJobs uses diapers to clean up the show's frequently grimy cameras. And

lint balls are bad. about 14 hours ago

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·  Oops, that's a

stain. Back to the washer for you, and if you're still stained, you're a rag.

So much for you. about 14 hours ago

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·  Now there's more

sorting and counting of diapers, now lighter and cleaner and actually white. No

stains going out! about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike goes to pick

up the dry diapers at the "Big Dog" dryers, where DiaperManager wants

to "scoop this puppy on up." about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike reveals the

dirty diaper secret of Dirty Jobs. about 14 hours ago

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·  I wonder if Mike

gets to keep all these baseball caps he gets. And he just had a little stroke. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike just lets out

a long groan after a long time male-bonding with WasherGuy. Pipe down, potty

minds out there. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike finds male

bonding atop a washing machine. Hey, Mike, whatever rotates your agitator. about 14 hours ago

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·  Oooh, Mike finds

"residue." I gotta tell ya, that's one word that one never wants to

hear. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike offers to help

WasherGuy change his belt. What could be simpler? Oh, nuclear physics, rocket

science, calculus. about 14 hours ago

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·  Dirty diapers go

through 13 full cycles and then are PH tested to match baby skin. Do you do

that at home? about 14 hours ago

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·  WasherGuy used to

be DiaperDriver. Not sure it's a step up. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike says

disposable diapers account for 2 million tons of paper, plastic, pee and poo in

landfills. Thanks for that. about 14 hours ago

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·  Washing machine

sensors monitor cleaning fluid in, waste products out. Something's up to date

at least. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike sounds like Kim

& Aggie from How Clean Is Your House when encountering bad

smells-oooh!yeow!whoo! about 14 hours ago

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·  WasherGuy turns on a

fan, and blows the stinkypoo diaper smell out — toward the State Capitol? One

can hope. about 14 hours ago

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·  It is the 21st century

and stinkypoo diapers must be loaded into the washer by hand. My grandmother

did that. about 14 hours ago

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·  Mike returns to the

land of gigantic washing machines. They make ones three times that size.

Jeepers. about 14 hours ago

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·  John is a

diaper-counting machine! Now it's time to fix the washer, but the washer

doesn't want to be fixed. about 14 hours ago

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·  Would you answer an

ad for a job counting dirty diapers? Would you? Come on, it's honest work!

Dirty, but honest. about 15 hours ago

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·  Cameraman Doug gets

the "brown derby" diaper. Poor Doug. Mike's always shaky math skills

fail him once again. about 15 hours ago

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·  Oh, now that's an

ugly diaper. A baby produced that? What did they feed it, pureed spinach? about 15 hours ago

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·  John sez be careful

how you open bags, because diaper contents can become airborne projectiles. about 15 hours ago

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·  Poor John makes a

comment about the smell. My heart goes out to him, but my nose will stay right

where it is. about 15 hours ago

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·  Apparently there's a

science to classifying diapers, adult, changing pad, new newborn, toddler. about 15 hours ago

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·  Smart John uses

double gloves to count dirty diapers. Mike goes for an apron this time. about 15 hours ago

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·  Clean diapers out

equal dirty diapers in, so poor soul John must count dirty diapers. There are

also adult diapers. about 15 hours ago

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·  Oooh, the diapers in

that preview don't look good. That particular shade of green has unpleasant

connotations. about 15 hours ago

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·  TideeDidee been

picking up three generations of baby poo in Sacramento, CA . Glad to hear it, if I ever get

there. about 15 hours ago

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·  Mike's going in on

his own, safety first! Sometimes there's money. Lady doesn't appear to realize

Mike's a celebrity. about 15 hours ago

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·  DiaperDriver says

babies train faster in cloth diapers than disposable, and no extra poo in the

landfill. about 15 hours ago

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·  Stinky dirty diapers

are heavier than clean. DiaperDriver quips, "I wonder why." His van

gets very full and low. about 15 hours ago

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·  Stinky blue dirty

diaper bag waits on customer's porch. Luckily there are no stray cats or

raccoons around. about 15 hours ago

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·  Mike Rowe climbs

aboard the straight poop express to get the dirty on dirty diapers. Drop off

clean; pick up dirty. about 15 hours ago

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·  "How is

cleaning diapers like a trip to the doctor's office? You just turn your head

and cough." I hear that. about 15 hours ago

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·  Now I want some

crusty bread and some olive oil to dip it in. Mike just insulted marketing guys

& leaves. about 15 hours ago

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·  Mike has a new

experience with a pressure washer. He cleans the "ca-ca hole." He

said that, not me. about 15 hours ago

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·  Now he's saying

"moofah." It's something different from "ca-ca." Mike

refuses apron, sez they're "for girls." about 15 hours ago

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· Oil goes into

primary decanter. No, not Waterford glass. Sits for a while, then becomes Tuscan–from Ariz.–blend.

about 15 hours ago

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·  Uh-oh, the ca-ca's

backed up, and we haven't even reached the Diaper Cleaning segment. Now it's composted. about 15 hours ago

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·  Olive oil is

lighter than water. After pressing, waste product is called "ca-ca."

Yes, that's what I believe he said. about 15 hours ago

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·  No more pressing

olives with your feet. First they get a cold shower, than pulverized. Rough for Mission on

bottom. about 15 hours ago

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·  Purple olives are

fruity and buttery. Don't know if I've seen a purple olive. NewOliveGuy used to

be in motor oil. about 15 hours ago

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·  Olive heap —

Manzanilla on top, Mission on bottom. Yep, they said that. Oily beggars. about 15 hours ago

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·  Olives have a

"pressing" engagement with Perry, who's "oily." I just said

that, Mike. The Manzanillas have arrived. about 15 hours ago

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·  OliveGuy sez you

must learn olive-growing biz from the bottom up. Yep, he said that. He's kinda

oily that way. about 15 hours ago

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·  Olive trees are pretty.

Pal bought one at Malibu garden center. Mike Rowe is onboard with OliveGuy's hate of gophers. about 15 hours ago

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·  Mike Rowe is told

to approach the irrigation leak from the flank and not make a frontal assault.

Gophers did it. about 15 hours ago

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·  Only extra-virgin

olives. No fallen olives. No heat for extra-virgin olive oil. Ordinary virgin

not good enough. about 15 hours ago

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·  Mike Rowe teaches

me a new word "rancitify." Then he extols the virtue of olive oil,

which I like on my pasta. about 15 hours ago

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·  You comb olives out

of the tree at low-automation boutique farm. Then you make a TV show about it. about 15 hours ago

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·  The oil of Mission

Olives is grassy. Perhaps they're on a green-olive mission. Can't spell other

variety names. about 15 hours ago

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·  Hot, dry Arizona grows olives

& presses olive oil. OliveGuy says raw olives are full of bitter water. I

hear that. about 15 hours ago

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·  Starting out with a

martini in need of an olive. Mike Rowe discovers raw olives don't taste good.

How to fix that? about 15 hours ago

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·  "I'm Mike

Rowe, and this is my job." Welcome to the Dirty Jobs Twitterblog. Is it

spoilery? What? Have you ever seen the show? about 15 hours ago

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