It’s a cast you can’t help but love: the
A-list of C-listers. In fact, some of these people actually had our respect at
one point. Of course, that’s all a distant memory when you watch The Celebrity
Apprentice Sundays on NBC. Joining The Donald in the boardroom are everyone
from Tom Green and Khloe Kardashian to Dennis Rodman and Scott Hamilton. In
addition, there are Andrew Dice Clay, Joan and Melissa Rivers, Clint Black, and
Jesse James. Throw in a case opener from Deal or No Deal (Claudia Jordan), a
Playboy Playmate (Brande Roderick) and a few other head scratchers, and this is
easily the most watchable thing from Trump since Ivanka.
Setting the scene:
You’ll need to turn your living room into
the boardroom, so get your hands on a massive conference table large enough to seat a majority of your
guests, and place the flat-screen TV at the head of the table
for easy viewing. Add dark wood paneling and a huge framed portrait of the man
himself, and get ready for Trump overload. Fill the room with Trump
paraphernalia such as Trump chocolate bars, Trump pens, Trump gold flags, Trump
the party, with You’re Fired! hats and T-shirts as party favors.
Encourage guests to arrive in either
business attire or as their favorite celebrity apprentice. That’s means a
fans, a metal briefcase for Jordan fans (you know who you
are), and a football helmet for Herschel Walker fans.
On the menu:
Serve meat fit for a king. Yes, Trump even
has his hands in the food industry. Not surprisingly, he has his name on “the
world’s greatest steaks.” From porterhouses and New York
strips to Delmonicos and rib-eyes, chances are these steaks are a lot easier to
swallow than The Donald.
On the hi-fi:
This season, The Celebrity Apprentice is
blessed with three stars from the music industry (four if Donald Jr. ever
releases that rap CD we’re hoping for), so during commercials play tracks from
Black’s Greatest Hits, T-Boz’s TLC offering CrazySexyCool and Brian McKnight’s Back at One.
You’ll need limousines to pick up all your
guests, so hire a car service and five or six stretch limos. Limos.com can
connect you to car providers in your area. Once they arrive, have them park end
to end in front of your house for the duration of the party.