And no one cares.
Why? Inside word is that the couple's April 25 ceremony is just a big fat fake wedding staged for ratings.
According to In Touch magazine, the "Hills" stars' Saturday wedding at Westminster Presbyterian is a bogus ceremony for MTV's reality series finale.
And we hear rumors that the wedding will be staged on a closed set with the show's cast as fake guests.
Montag is supposed to wear a Monique Lhuillier wedding gown and $1 million worth of borrowed bling. Her sister, Holly Montag, will be the maid of honor with Pratt's sister Stephanie as the lucky bridesmaid. No word on who will be paid to be Spencer's best man.
TMZ reports that the couple sent out a flier in the Pasadena hood where they will be tying the knot. The flier asked residents to allow the MTV crew to shut down some streets and sidewalks for "an untitled reality TV project." They want "no parking" signs "to discourage paparazzi from parking and hiding out in their cars" — for safety reasons.
TMZ wonders if they want to restrict paparazzi because it's more lucrative for them to sell their own shots. Except that no one actually wants the photos. According to MSNBC, this whole wedding is so staged that none of the big gossip rags is interested in exclusive shots.
So what does this all mean?
It means we will probably see corny photos of Spencer and Heidi in their free wedding garb, simpering while they toast each other with free bubbly at a free wedding reception sold cheap (if not given out for free "Hills" publicity) to ALL the magazines.
Could this be a sign of more than the recession? Are Spencer and Heidi finally overexposed? All free rides do come to an end.
Do you want to see photos of Heidi and Spencer's wedding?
Or would you rather open a vein while taking a warm bath?
In case you want more Spencer and Heidi dish:
Photo: Speidi practice their fakey wedding peck. Credit: WireImage