This week’s party is a total experiment
because we’ve never thrown a party for someone with dissociative identity
disorder. Do we need to send each personality an invitation separately, or will
they all get some sort of internal memo? If you watch United States of Tara Sundays on Showtime, you might think individual invites, but frankly, it’s all
a mystery. One thing’s for certain: When you have an actress as talented and
quirky as Toni Collette as Tara, anything is possible. It’s sort of like Anne
Heche during a speed-dating event. Yep, a veritable box of chocolates.
Setting the scene:
You’ll need the whole house to appreciate
the many lives of Tara (and Alice and Buck and T and, now, Gimme). In the
living room, things can stay fairly normal in a nod to Tara. But one bedroom
must belong to T, and here you need to sex things up like a rabid teenager
looking for love. Hang thongs from the ceiling and
boots scattered about, along with a poster of Pam Anderson and
used targets from shooting practice. And in honor of Gimme,
housebreaking lying around.
You can encourage guests to come as their
favorite version of Tara or make suggestions based on their personalities by
sending invitations featuring photos of
the Tara you suggest.
On the menu:
Let’s have Alice cook and feature a traditional
family meal with all the fixin’s — turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green
beans, corn muffins and warm apple pie. Have plenty of Budweiser in the fridge in case Buck shows up. Just make sure to keep it
away from Gimme, if you get our drift.
On the hi-fi:
“You’ll Be Fine” by Tim DeLaughter,”Lucky”
by Kat Edmonson, “Straight Lines” by Dawn Landes, “Souljacker Part 1” by Eels.
You probably live on a quiet street in a
respectable neighborhood, so why not do something a little out of character and
embrace your inner Buck by purchasing a lovely used Peterbilt tractor-trailer and parking it in the front yard during the party? Every
now and then run out and blast the air horn. Invite the neighbors to the party,
or you’ll get calls.