Paula-abdul Paula Abdul, who has a long history of bizarre behavior on-air and off,  has long denied reports of any drug or alcohol abuse. She even told Cynthia McFadden two weeks ago on "Nightline" that she never abused prescription drugs.

Now she's apparently completely changed her tune. "American Idol" fans,  should this come as a shockeroo?

In the June issue of Ladies Home Journal, she reveals her struggle to kick a secret, 12-year painkiller habit, though she says she never shot an "Idol" episode under the influence.

In pain after a series of injuries, the self-professed "old-school professional" turned to a combination of painkillers and Chinese medicine, the article says, to get her through her grueling dance routines on tour.

Then in 2005, she was diagnosed with reflex

sympathetic dystrophy syndrome. The chronic illness causes disabling pain, teeth-chattering and

shingles-like lesions. To help combat the pain, the article says, Paula wore a patch that delivered a pain

medication about 80 times more potent than morphine and took a nerve

medication to relieve her symptoms.

And sometimes she took a muscle

relaxer too. And OK, sometimes that wouldn't work either, and she couldn't sleep at all. And sometimes the combination of all those things made her "get weird" on the air. Yeah, no kidding. 

Last

Thanksgiving, Paula checked

into the La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad, Calif., to get off the stuff.

Says Paula: “I could have killed myself…. Withdrawal

– it’s the worst thing. I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then

chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating. But at my very

core, I did not like existing the way I had been.” 

Glad you made it, Paula. Congrats. But we'll kind of miss those funny out-there Paula moments.

Remember this classic Paula stumble?

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More Paula Adbul dish:

Paula Abdul gives Shawn Johnson stalker tips.

Why did Paula Goodspeed die?

Paula Abdul criticizes "AI" for putting her stalker on the show.

Paula Abdul's stalker dies of an overdose of prescription drugs



Photo: WireImage