Pinky_danceyourassoff_290 As much as “Dance Your Ass Off” is supposed to be all feel-good and whatnot, I find this week’s genre a bit exploitative. And that genre: Pole Dancing. Yes. Pole Dancing.

Host Marissa Jaret Winokur introduces the general rehearsal package in which the contestants and their partners get some lessons from Christina Fuentes, an instructor from Crunch Fitness, and practice. Next, Marissa quickly presents judges Mayte Garcia, Lisa Ann Walter, and Danny Teeson. As a reminder, they score by take thing the average score from the judges and adding it to the contestants percentage of weight loss.

1. Shayla & Mario

Song: “Don’t Cha” reminiscent of Pussycat Dolls

In three weeks of competition, Shayla’s reversed her symptoms of pre-diabetes. Awesome. That really lit a fire in her to keep pushing. They start out with Mario seating in a chair and she uses it and his shoulder to climb mid-way up on the pole. Very smart, very show. I like that they both took turns doing tricks. The looks on the judges faces are priceless. Mario’s outfit is an atrocity against man and nature. Mayte thought it was great and gives the note that she was anticipating her moves. Lisa Ann felt she felt sexy. Danny said, essentially, that she was stripperlicious.

Score: 7.7 (8-7-8)

Weightloss: 1.16% (-2.3 lbs)

Total: 8.86

2. Ruben & Hilary

Song: “I’m A Slave 4 U” a la Britney Spears

I’m not sure what the concept of the dance is. I’m guessing he’s a businessman under the spell of the stripper. Or they’re zombies. Or she’s a vampire. Whatever. It was a little odd but mostly enjoyable. He didn’t do as many pole tricks as Shayla. Mayte thought he worked it well. Lisa Ann loved the interesting story. Danny likes that they did a story but deducted a point since Ruben didn’t do that many tricks.

Score: 7.7 (8-8-7)

Weightloss: 2.64% (-7.8 lbs) – he’s lost about 27 pounds so far!

Total: 10.34

3. Trice & Jesus

Song: “Milkshake” a la Kellis

The choreography was good but a lot it seemed a bit awkward at times. Jesus did more pole tricks than she did, seemingly – though twirling around the pole into the splits with some booty bouncing is still impressive. She probably couldn’t quite get the hang out it but they could done a few more things. Mayte liked it but agrees with me. Lisa Ann wants a little more slow moves from her since her dance style is more hard and fast. Danny once again docks a point for not using the prop enough.

Score: 6.3 (7-6-6)

Weightloss: 1.11% (-2.9 lbs)

Total: 7.41

4. Miles & Michelle

Song: “I’m Too Sexy” a la Right Said Fred

Disappointed with his weight-loss last week, he decided to really push himself this week. Miles so far is the only contestant to actually take anything off – he had rip-away pants. Was he perfect? No but it was darn entertaining. Mayte wants him to hit his moves harder but loved the outfit. Lisa Ann couldn’t keep her eyes off him. Danny thought the choreography made great use of the space and thanks Miles for not looking at the floor all the time.

Score: 7.7 (8-8-7)

Weightloss: 1.83% (-4.6 lbs)

Total: 9.53

5. Pinky & Mr. Lucky

Song: “Lady Marmalade” sorta like the one from “Moulin Rouge”

Since Pinky wasn’t comfortable with the idea of pole dancing, she created an alter ego – Cosa Rosa. She’s freaking awesome. She’s hitting her movies, giving great face, and the choreography is great. She didn’t do a whole lot of tricks but they incorporated it into the number really well. Mayte thought it was good but there wasn’t enough pole work. Lisa Ann got chills and was emotional. Danny said she was great and gives the note to strengthen her core more.

Score: 8 (7-9-8)

Weightloss: 1.10% (-2 lbs)

Total: 9.10

6. Brandon & Yesnia

Song: “Shake It” a la Metro Station

Third time’s a charm – this is the first week Brandon wasn’t in the bottom. After a talk with Dr. Rob Huizenga, he better understood how serious this really is. Apparently, Brandon has a fatty liver and high blood pressure to go with his diabetes. Sadly, he’s gotten the absolute worst song so far for our purposes. Yesnia looked like she was straight out of Cirque du Soliel. It was a decent routine that got better once Brandon got more into it. He didn’t do enough tricks but what he did looked cool. Mayte said the dancing was a little weak but had good choreography. Lisa Ann wanted a little more sexy. Danny was disappointed by lack of pole work.

Score: 6.3 (7-6-6)

Weightloss: 1.91% (-4.3 lbs)

Total: 8.21

7. Tara & Michael

Song: “Promiscuous” a la Nelly Futado

Tara’s recovering from her knee injury and the doctors actually advised her to move as mush as she can. The choreography was creative and executed fairly well. One thing is it seems that she’s counting and not just dancing to the song and musical ques. More connectivity would do wonders. Mayte felt she felt sensual but, per the score, wasn’t really picking up what she was putting down. Lisa Ann commended her on recovering for her injury so well. Danny said it was a great example on how to creatively work the pole into the routine even if you don’t have the upper body strength to work it.

Score: 7.3 (6-8-8)

Weightloss: 0.87% (-2 lbs)

Total: 8.17

8. Alicia & Italo

Song: “I Know What Boys Like” a la The Waitresses

She certainly used her splits and flexibility to her advantage but I wasn’t really digging the number for some reason. I think it’s because…she’s…kind of…crazy. I can see it in the eyes now and it’s hard to ignore. Mayte was impressed. Lisa Ann felt she was really living in the moment. Danny was impressed by how she recovered from being in the bottom last week and by how she took his notes and applied them.

Score: 7.7 (8-8-7)

Weightloss: 0.93% (-2.3 lbs)

Total: 8.63

The Bottom Two

Trice is currently in last place. Karla and Mara are the contestants with the least weight loss this week. They’ll dance and though we’ll know how much they lost, we won’t know the scores until they’ve both performed.

Karla_danceyourassoff_290 1. Karla & Jull

Song: “I Touch Myself” a la The Divinyls

I’m sorry, I find it hard to be objective since I’m totally put off by Karla’s vibe and have been since day one. It’s also very telling that the contestants, who are normally smiling and animated during other routines, practically don’t react at all. Not even Shayla who’s as happy and supportive as Sunshine Bear. Her kissing him at the end grossed me out. Mayte could see doubt in her performance. Lisa Ann says she didn’t throw herself into it but did great pole work. Danny could tell Jull doing crazy maneuvers was to distract from Karla, who doesn’t believe in herself yet.

Weightloss: 0.62% (-1 lbs)

2. Mara & Paul

Song:“Cherry Pie” a la Warrent

It’s good choreography and she’s throwing herself into it. Her kicks are not good, she needs to work on the technique more. But the character was spot on. The use of chairs was very creative. Mayte thought she rocked it, Lisa Ann liked the attack and was impressed, and Danny loves that she worked through her fear of the pole and delivered a great routine.

Weightloss: 0.71% (-1.8 lbs)

Score: 8.3 (9-8-8)

Total: 9.01

Mara got her score first and ended with the highest judges’ score of the night (Ruben had the highest total score for the second week). This leaves Karla and Trice on the elimination bubble. Karla needs an average of 7.0 to stay in. Danny gave her a 6, Lisa Ann gave her a 6, and Mayte is the final vote. She starts out by assuring Karla that she’s a beautiful person and she needs to believe that. However, she’s not beautiful enough to Jedi Mind Trick Mayte into giving her better than a 5. I could tell she was in trouble by the look on Danny’s face and because Lisa Ann was tearing up.

Karla says that she learned so much and was happy she was picked. She also said that there are a lot of “great people” left and she’s “excited to see where the end up.” Why does that sound vaguely like a threat? Well, happy trails Karla.

Next week is brings us Latin dance, which seems like it’ll be less potentially awkward than this week. Actually, I thought in general everyone did really well with the pole dancing. How about you? Are you as glad Karla went home as I am? Any other thoughts?

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