This week on “I Survived a Japanese Game Show“? Action! Tears! And an unfortunate display of flesh! It’s shows like this that make me happy. “The Price is Right” is filmed right here in America, thereby assuring we’ll never see Drew Carey in anything other than a conservative suit.
The show starts off with the first coupling of the season: Drew and Jamie. Didn’t see that coming. Why? Because the show barely shows these people off the show’s set. I understand this isn’t some intense drama, but shouldn’t we be invested a little bit in these characters? Because we only get snippets of personality via talking head segments, not in terms of their interaction off the set, it’s impossible to truly care who gets a face full of flour while hordes of Japanese hipsters laugh at them. Sad, really. Onto the games…
First Game: “Snap Attack!”
The gist? The two teams are on opposite sides of a table, unable to see the other side. Each team snaps bungee bands blindly at the other side through tracks on the table. Best of out three hits wins each round. Oh, and everyone’s topless. Yup, Bobaloo’s topless. It’s a little like “Battleship” with man boobs. You’re welcome, Japan.
The outcome? Talk about a game involving no skill. It’s just blind luck in deciding which ropes to pull, and horrifically dull to watch. Red Robots win 3-1, though everyone loses for having seen Bobaloo with his shirt off.
Choice quote? Judge Bob getting way too excited repeating the title of the game.
In the dressing rooms, the teams get outfitted with pads and white jumpsuits. Things are about to get messy, people.
Second Game: “Paint Splash Madness!”
The gist? One person sits on a spinning platform holding a cup while the others stand on spinning platforms, filling their cups with paint dropped from the sky. The standing players then run along moving escalators to throw the paint into the sitting teammate’s cup. It devolves into a freakin’ mess in no time flat. It’s Kate Gosselin’s worst nightmare given Japanese game show form.
The outcome? The Red Robots instantly give up their earned advantage (an extra cup) and generally look like a “How Not To” video produced by Home Depot. Yet somehow, they manage to nearly double the Green Tigers’ output and take their fourth game in a row overall. This result confirms my belief that Cathy in fact made a deal with the devil before leaving for Japan, since she's yet to lose a game this season.
Choice quote? “I got a little in my mouth. Tasted cheesy. That was weird.” Dan, concerning getting a mouthful of paint. I hope.
As a reward, the Red Robots get to spend a day on the track with trick drifting racers. Sadly, Vin Diesel is nowhere to be seen. But the female driver asks baby-faced Dan if he still wets the bed, so all is forgiven. The Green Tigers get to work at a gas station/car wash as their punishment. But before all that, Megan turns on the waterworks during the elimination selection, putting herself and Bobaloo up for dismissal. These tears would make sense had the show spent more than 18 seconds all season on character development.
Elimination Game: “Alien Took My Teddy Bear!” (Recapper note: I HATE when that happens!)
The gist? The players attempt to traverse a series of moving floor parts to transport a stuffed panda bear from Point A to Point B. If they slip, they are pushed into a flour-filled box. Yup. More flour. Why can’t they mix it up and stuff the box with Chex Mix already?
The outcome? I kind of want Bobaloo to pull a Tonya Harding and clip Megan, but that didn’t happen. What does happen is that Bobaloo shows a feat of endurance that exists on the other end of the spectrum of the one shown in the training montage of “Rocky IV.” Megan actually doesn’t fare much better, but manages to win 2-1.
Choice moment? The two obscenely overweight Japanese “fans” crying over the loss of their own American Idol.
Think it’s about time for another team switcheroo? Or would you rather they spend less time on twists and more time on its participants?
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