How much of a complete jerk do you have to be to get kicked off ‘Big Brother 11‘? Perhaps we should ask Chima?
But first, let’s recap! Chima was HOH and put Russell and Lydia on the block. Jeff had the coup d’etat power and took them off the block, replacing them with Jessie and Natalie. Jessie was sent home (yay!!) and Chima, Natalie and Lydia cried like their puppy just got run over by a truck. Michele won HoH, put Chima and Natalie on the block, causing Chima to basically lose her mind.
We get a montage of Chima being a complete snot, covering a camera with a blanket, refusing to report to the DR, threatening to curse so much that the FCC comes down on the show, refusing to wear her mic, and finally, she tosses her mic in the pool. Natalie gets out the pool net to retrieve it, but she’s so inept that she can’t even fish it from the water and has to ask Lydia to do it for her. How does Natalie manage to remain upright? Was her brain replaced with a couple of honey bees and a can of tuna or something? It has to be, because moments later, she’s tries to say that the mic slipped from Chima’s hand. And across the yard. And then jumped into the pool. Even better, Lydia tries to back her up while Kevin tell them both to stop being so stupid.
The BB Voice asks Chima to report to the diary room and showing the grace and class we are used to from her, she tells them to suck her *@$# and eff off. Natalie tries to give her a pep talk, saying that she could win the PoV, then win HoH and announce “This is for Natalie and Jessie!”. She’s delusional, right? Or the can of tuna is. Next thing we know, it’s not the familiar BB voice but that of Allison Grodner, Executive Producer, calling Chima to the DR. She eventually obeys, but when she gets to the DR they tell her to not bother sitting down. Not long after, Allison is on the mic again, announcing to the other HGs that because of the flagrant disobedience and destruction of property, Chima has been evicted.
Lydia and Kevin pack Chima’s stuff while Natalie continues to rant like a lunatic, saying that she wants “vindiction”. That was the bees, right? The next morning, Michele announces that BB has decided that since one of her noms was evicted, her reign is over. She calmly tells Natalie that she’s off the block and gets to participate in the HoH competition. I have to say, based on what CBS showed, Michele handled her HoH week being shaved down to 3 days rather well.
The HoH Competition is mini golf, with an HG being eliminated each round. At elimination, they get to pick a prize, but the HGs eliminated later get to steal prizes from those eliminated before. Lydia is eliminated first and wins the HoH. Perhaps knowing she’s about to have it stolen from her, she jumps on the mimosas provided and starts chugging. By the time Jordan is the last HG standing (thanks to Jeff throwing the competition for her, which is actually sweet.), she’s well on her way to drunk. As such, when Jordan trades her the unitard for HoH, Lydia goes on a tirade, calling her a ho and Jeff’s puppet before screaming about how Chima and Jessie were wronged.
The next segment of the show is all about watching Lydia do a drunken impression of Chima, refusing to wear the unitard, dumping Michele’s beer down the sink, tossing food in the trash and telling everyone to send her home or she will spend the next week making them all miserable. The best moment is when she gets called on being a drunk mess – which she denies – and then gets asked why she’s slurring her words. To which she responds, “I’m not sluwrring ma werds, Rushell!”, making everyone laugh. At her, not with her. Eventually she retreats to the DR, crying about how she misses Chima, Jessie and even Ronnie.
Outside the DR, Jeff finally explodes, asking why everyone is walking on eggshells around Lydia and why none of her team mates will tell her to clean up her attitude. None of them manage anything resembling a coherent answer before it’s time for Jordan’s HoH room reveal. Lydia refuses to take part, which is fine since she would just ruin it. Jordan cries and it is revealed that she’s been sharing a room with her mom for two years and if she wins BB, she plans to buy a house for her family. Jeff beams at her joy and I have to say…they don’t seem like the typical cheap showmance.
Apparently, in an effort to buy Lydia off, the BB producers offered her pink hair dye because when she reappears, she is not only sober and sporting a new ‘do, she’s joyfully wearing the unitard and promising the cast evil out of the house. Starting with herself? Or Natalie? No one is the least surprised when Jordan puts them both on the block. But did anyone else notice how Jordan said she was out to protect Jeff and Michele – leaving Russell off her list?
So. Was that the most awesome BB episode ever?
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