Tonight’s “Gossip Girl” centered mainly on Chuck‘s club opening and Blair‘s steadfast refusal to learn or mature on any level. And Olivia’s vampire movies. And paid trick-or-treaters, Jenny’s Queendom, and Rufus in a very funny Johnny Ramone wig.
Chuck Bass, club impresario: Chuck’s hoping to pull off a near-impossible feat: open his new club, Gimlet, on Halloween. He needs a gimmick to build up buzz for his hotel, since all of his liquid assets are tied up there, and he sees this as a way to make his mark as a person on his own, not just as a Bass. “People think I’m playing a game — they want me to lose,” he tells Blair.
But, typically, Blair’s about as sensitive to anyone else’s needs or wants as a cinderblock. Chuck’s still smarting over the fact that she played him, and she “just wants to help” — even after Chuck leaves her out of the preparations for the opening, hires Serena to be his publicist, and makes it clear he wants to do everything on his own. So of course she calls Jack Bass to help expedite the liquor license. Every day with Blair is like Groundhog Day — same harebrained scheme over and over.
The club opening seems to be rockin’ along — and for the record, I’d totally go to a club called Gimlet that served moonshine martinis. Serena’s done a great job getting A-listers to show up, and has even gotten Olivia agreed to walk the red carpet with her ex-boyfriend and “Eternal Knight” co-star Patrick
Roberts Robinson (which bears absolutely no resemblance to “Robert Pattinson” transposed). It’s a small price to pay to mollify Casey, a.k.a. the world’s worst publicist, who wants her to break up with Dan and get back together with Patrick to keep him from becoming Mark Hamill (“Is that the guy in ‘Star Wars’ who’s not Harrison Ford?” Serena asks.)
Except Chuck, having found out about Jack’s involvement with the liquor license, knows it’s fake — which Blair the genius only figured out after Jack sent her a huge bouquet with a card alerting her to the fact. But Chuck impressively keeps his powder dry — clearly all those years of being sneaky and awful gave him some practice — and ends up calling the police, shutting down his own club opening.
The only bummer is that it happens before Olivia and Patrick do their smoochy thing on the red carpet, which threatens to make Casey’s head explode. Serena takes care of it, though, shoving a kissing Olivia and Dan in front of the paparazzi and taking one for the team by saying that she’s the one who’s dating Patrick. Interesting job description.
Chuck won’t be able to get a liquor license for at least six months, which allows him to put in motion his true speakeasy plan — the ultimate exclusive club to which members need keys and find their way in surreptitiously. Oh yeah — no potential for anything to go wrong there. The best part of the Chuck/Blair debacle of the night, however, is their conversation at the end of the evening, in which Blair kind of pathetically asks if she’s now trustworthy in Chuck’s eyes, and asserts that she thinks they make a good team. “No — to make a great team, we have to focus our duplicity on others,” Chuck tells her. Truer words have never been spoken.
Serena and Blair: By the end of the night, Serena’s over Blair, who asks if she’ll be the publicist for Chuck’s new speakeasy. But Serena actually has a spine for a moment and tells Blair she’d never work for her. Casey’s supposed to be awful; she’s Serena’s boss — but she theoretically should be able to expect more from Blair. I’m not sure if Serena’s ever met Blair — but anyway, the battle is engaged, and from next week’s preview it looks like someone gets a cake in the face. Woot!
Olivia and Dan: Things have been going great with these two, except for the fact that Dan’s waited far too long to see her movies. So he and Nate sit down for a festival of craptasticness, a.k.a. the “Eternal Knight” trilogy. What Dan isn’t prepared for is watching Olivia with Patrick Roberts — though Nate fills him in on the gossip that their love scenes weren’t exactly simulated, sayeth the bloggers. Which predictably freaks him out — particularly since he and Olivia haven’t gone there yet. Then a picture of Olivia surfaces (nice shout out, Perez Hilton!), in which she’s helping herself to a stash of condoms at the student center. It’s brilliant that she worries Dan thinks she’s a bad actress when she finds out what he’s been watching. She reassures Dan that her relationship with Patrick was strictly for publicity (hilarious, given the heavy rotation of “New Moon” ads during the episode), then later admits that the relationship was real and that she felt bad about Patrick’s career plateau post-vampire — which is why she’s willing to walk the red carpet. Long story short, she and Dan end up in flagrante at the end of the evening. And at least she was prepared.
Jenny and the Mean Girls: Jenny‘s working a double life, as Mean Supergirl at school and normal Clarissa Kent at home — or so she’d have everyone believe. When she’s away from her minions, she’s perfectly nice to Eric and his friend Jonathan — but when they sit above her on the steps at the Met, God forbid, it’s a sign of weakness. And she can’t have that, so the Meanies set out to make Eric and Jonathan’s life miserable. Lily attempts to handle the situation, and metes out an absolutely appropriate punishment — get the Plastics to apologize to Eric at Chuck’s club opening. Which really only leads to them egging poor Jonathan.
Rufus and the Ramones: Rufus and Lily usually make me yawn, but their tiny storyline tonight was cute. He’s all psyched to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, coming home with at least a grand’s worth of candy from Dylan’s Candy Bar (seriously, Rufus — just go to CVS), having carved pumpkins to look like the members of Kiss and wanting the family to dress up like the Ramones (“Jenny would be such a good Joey,” he tells Lily.). But Upper East Side kids evidently don’t go begging for candy, and Lily very sweetly pays off Vanya to bring groups of kids around to get their sugar ration from Rufus, who’s dressed like Johnny Ramone. He figures it out, he and Lily laugh about it, all ends in cuteness.
P.S.: I want more Dorota — the scene where she complained of having to suffer through “foot bothering” (a pedicure) because Chuck was angry at Blair was fantastic — as was the look on Chuck’s face when she said it.
What did you think? Do you think Chuck will be able to pull off his fancy club? Will Blair ever, ever learn? How bad an idea is it for Serena to be fake dating Patrick Roberts? And do you think Jenny is moving to the dark side, now that she’s tossed out her old clothes?