Jon Gosselin went on “Larry King Live” Thursday (Oct. 1) night to share his “epiphany.”
Was it the epiphany that his pathetic third-life crisis isn’t cute and isn’t going to help him in his upcoming divorce proceedings? Was it the epiphany that while he’s become a walking Ed Hardy billboard, his estranged wife has actually given some thought to how she’s going to provide for their eight children in the years to come? Or was it the epiphany that his catting around has pretty much guaranteed that no woman worth the time of day is going to give him a second look.
Er, we’re not sure. Probably a combination of No. 1 and 2 with a healthy dose of his lawyer handing him a script and telling him, “If you don’t memorize this and keep your nose clean you’re going to end up living in a transient hotel and eating cat food.”
Either way, he told Larry, “I had an epiphany one day. I made mistakes. I’m here to apologize to Kate … I apologize to Hailey.”
Dude, apologizing to the mother of your children is one thing, but to your inappropriate girlfriend? Blech.
Oh, and Jon also wants everyone to know that he’s seeking to put a halt to the upcoming series “Kate Plus Eight” because it doesn’t include him. Or rather, “It’s not healthy for my kids to to be on the show. It’s detrimental to them.”
No, Jon, it’s detrimental to you to have Kate appear weekly on television raising the kids and getting on with her life with your screentime limited to the occasional visit to check out if the new babysitter is hot and stupid enough to fall for that old “Let’s get in the hot tub with a bottle of wine and see what happens” line.
While Jon says that he doesn’t talk to Kate anymore, he does text message her. Sadly, she doesn’t text back. Again, maybe it’s because of those pesky eight kids making so many demands.
Our suggestion? They should both set up Twitter accounts. There’s nothing like bitching at each other through social media to get you a couple more minutes of fame.