If there’s one thing these kids of “90210” are good at, it’s making up a story and sticking to it. And then giving each other a hard time about it.
Annie and Jasper: After Jasper’s phone call in which he told Annie that life wasn’t worth living without her, she rushes over to his house, desperate to keep him from doing something to himself. From a photo of her from Jasper’s movie shoot, she figures out that he might be at the Hollywood sign, and suddenly she’s there, tout de suite, finding Jasper standing on top of the landmark’s giant “H,” threatening to jump. First, I’m amazed that she can run so fast in a skirt barely long enough to qualify as underwear. Second, I’m impressed that both she and Jasper so easily got up the hill and up the fire road that leads to the sign, since you can’t just stroll on up to it and hang out. (Another fallacy promoted in the original show too.)
Anyway, despite her begging him not to jump, Jasper jumps — or sort of leans off — and ends up breaking both his legs and sprained his shoulder. Annie sees his parents, who seem startlingly normal to have such a whackjob kid and not know about it, at the hospital. Later, Jasper’s dad tells Annie that Jasper will be heading to a psychiatric facility after he gets out of the hospital, but would like to see her before he goes. She comes to see him, and for once Shenae Grimes blessedly gives her “What stinks in here?” face a rest, showing surprising backbone and sensitivity. She doesn’t love him, she says, she does feel guilty about the accident and she wants him to stop manipulating her, because that’s what this relationship has always been about. Good girl, Annie. He promises to keep her secret because he loves her (whatevs, dude), and she walks out of his room after wishing him well with an ever-so-slight Keyser Söze smirk on her face. You want to know how you can really be free of having this sword hanging over your head, Annie? Confess already!
Dixon and Ivy: Dixon and Ivy are pretty much huddled together in their mutual misery over having to watch the people they care about in relationships with others. They’re feeling rejected — Ivy after Liam is weird around her because of Naomi, Dixon after Teddy offers to set him up with his mixed-doubles partner. So they decide to hang at the beach club, and then unfortunately run into the gruesome foursome having dinner together. To get away from the awkward invitation to join, Ivy says they’re on a date. Which forces them to continue to pretend they’re dating, at least in public. Much “Poopy” and “Stinky Head” talk ensues. Naomi’s onto the fact that they’re faking it and calls Ivy out on it, so of course Ivy moves in for the kill and plants a big one on Dixon. Who doesn’t seem to mind, if you know what I mean. We can see where this is heading.
Also speaking of Dixon, we can see where something else is heading: his gambling is ratcheting up as he bets more and more on the Lakers. I called this one a couple of weeks back, and all I can say is Dixon, learn from Brandon Walsh’s mistakes. And stay away from bookies.
Naomi and Liam: Naomi’s dancing all over the knife-edge of doing the right thing and confessing her lie about Mr. Cannon sexually harassing her. Sometimes it feels like she’s just about to spill. Then Liam flashes her the supportive puppy eyes and tells her she’s nothing like her sister Jen, and all bets are off. Which leaves her in the awful position of having to stick to this dumb lie, even to the point of pretending to see a therapist because she’s supposedly struggling with what happened and is too traumatized to report it.
So Liam goes hothead. When he sees another girl student trying to butter up Mr. Cannon so he’ll let her go home and get the paper she forgot (what a sucker), Liam loses it and slams the guy into the wall. But even when hauled before the principal and threatened with expulsion, he won’t talk because he’s protecting Naomi. Naomi gets wind of what happened and heads to the principal’s office to try to straighten things out when she runs into Mr. Cannon, who tells her about Liam’s impending expulsion. She busts in and says Liam was trying to protect her — because Mr. Cannon sexually harassed her. This is going to get ugly.
Teddy and Silver: Now that they’ve gotten past Teddy’s boy-tramp past, Teddy and Silver appear to be in the cute phase of their relationship, where they have adorable disagreements about who knows who better. Teddy appears to be fairly oafish on this front, but he tries, and he gets Silver a gift: a pair of very expensive-looking (read: big) diamond stud earrings. Which prompted me to start the countdown to when she brought up blood diamonds (about seven minutes later). Silver seems overwhelmed and not a little apprehensive over the gift, then later admits to Teddy that she hates them because they’re not her at all. Then he surprises her all over again with her real gift: a leather-bound edition of Madame Bovary, proving in the end that he really does know her. Alrighty then.
Adrianna and Gia: Adrianna and Gia are happily spending time together while Adrianna makes band T-shirts (correcting my earlier mistake, the band’s name is the Glorious Steinems — which is actually kind of awesome). But there’s a snag. When the ladies find themselves locked out of school and thus separated from their instruments as they’re heading to their gig at the beach club, Gia suggests they climb the fire escape to drop down into the courtyard and get into the school to get them. But Ade shies away when Gia goes in for a kiss — she’s not quite ready to be totally public about their relationship yet. Which rightfully annoys Gia, but maybe Ade could get a little bit of slack since this is new for her.
As they’re about to go on, Adrianna the successful childhood actress who’s grown up in the spotlight gets a big ol’ case of stage fright and doesn’t want to go on. But the band won’t hit the stage without her. (Nice, but not very rock ‘n’ roll. Did Journey refuse to go on when Steve Perry left? No! Did Van Halen? No! But I suppose they weren’t playing the Beverly Hills Beach Club.)
Ade pulls it together and the band plays on, and she gets better and better during the set. And she’s so happy that when they’re done she goes over and kisses Gia, showing everyone that they’re in a relationship. Nice moment. And her singing was so good, in fact, that Ivy’s mom, Laurel (Kelly Lynch), approaches her the next day at school. Laurel showed up at the beach club but laid low lest Ivy be embarrassed by her maternal presence. She’s a music producer and tells Adrianna that she loved the set and wants to sign her. Alone, of course — sans the band. More storm clouds a-brewin’. And possibly another one, as Laurel runs into Mr. Matthews at school and Ivy puts two-and-two together about what happened between them.
What did you think? Has Annie gotten away with it, or will her dastardly deed (and silence about it) continue to haunt her? Will Naomi finally ‘fess up that she’s lying about Mr. Cannon? Do you think Dixon and Ivy are destined to become a real couple?