Remember the first season of “The Hills,” when Heidi Montag was the wacky friend? She was always spontaneously almost getting Lauren fired or spontaneously dropping out of school or spontaneously faking pregnancies. Good times!
Now, she’s become a disturbing cross between a Stepford Wife and a Realdoll. We’re not just talking about her physical appearance (though, let’s be honest, it’s not like it’s easy to ignore). Every time she speaks she sounds like a script was programmed into her brain. Did she have a USB port implanted along with her “butt job,” as Lo Bosworth would say?
In this clip from the May 10 episode, Heidi greets her husband Spencer Pratt with a saccharine, “Hi honey! Good to see you!” in a voice that doesn’t resemble the way she spoke a year ago at all. She’s hired a party planner to arrange a party for Enzo, the little kid who lives down the street. You remember Enzo, right? He’s the adorable child MTV hired to give Heidi baby fever last season.
This scene raises several questions for us. First of all, the kiss between Heidi and Spencer is barely a peck. Do her lips still hurt from the surgery? When Spencer gets mad, he starts huffing and puffing like he’s in a Lamaze class. Is he having labor pains?
Finally, and most importantly, what in the world are Enzo’s parents thinking, letting their kid hang out with these two loony tunes?
If we had to make a list of appropriate role models for young children, Heidi and Spencer would fall somewhere below Lindsay Lohan and Tiger Woods on our list. To their credit, they do land slightly above Michelle Bombshell McGee. Slightly.
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Photo Credit: MTV