I hope you all remember what happened last season, because true to the show’s style the premiere picks up right where we left off in the finale. A refresher: Sookie was about to say yes to Bill’s proposal but he was kidnapped before she could answer; Jessica dined on a random trucker; Jason killed Eggs but Andy Bellefleur took the rap; and Sam went off to find his birth parents.
Sookie and Bill
We first see bill chained up in his car, being drained dry by maniac V addicts. They are obviously just cronies for the actual mastermind behind the kidnapping, as they are incompetent drug addict idiots incapable of coming up with a master plan. The fiends get a little too wild on Bill’s blood and crash their car, allowing Bill to escape. He finds his way to a house in the woods and feeds on an adorable old lady, and learns he’s been transported to Mississippi. Hmm.
Meanwhile Sookie runs to Eric, convinced he was involved in Bill’s kidnapping. She finds him, um, tied up with one of his dancers. Well, she’s tied up. He’s just beautiful. (I’m sorry if I missed nuances in the scene, but as a shameless member of Team Eric I was far too distracted to recap properly. Alexander Skarsgard, whoa.) After realizing Eric wasn’t to blame, Sookie sets her sights on Lorena and Eric promises to help considering the tenseness of her last encounter with the vamp vixen.
After and encounter with Pam, Sookie realizes Bill can “call” Jessica and they go out together on a search for him where he last tried to contact Jessica. They find his crashed car and see a Nazi-esque symbol on one of the dead kidnappers, which they discover by doing a Google search is some sort of werewolf symbol. Google: not just for human problems. Just before the episode cuts to black, Bill is chased by what appears to be the werewolves in question. And they look way cooler than those stupid Twilight ones.
It seems Sookie wasn’t far too off the mark in suspecting Eric of wrongdoing, as he was planning on taking Bill himself but his men got there too late, and Bill was already gone. The Queen shows up at Fangtasia with the Magister in tow, and he’s on a witch hunt to find out who is supplying the abundant local V trade. Of course, the Queen is the one behind the whole thing with Eric as her stooge, but she plays it off like a pro and they both promise to find the culprit. Once he leaves, the Queen tells Eric to forget what the Magister said and sell the V twice as fast, because she needs the cash.
Jessica, in turmoil over killing the trucker, comes home to find flowers from Hoyt on her doorstep. In a fit of panic and regret she tries to turn the trucker but fails, and leaves him under the house to rot until she figures out how to deal with him. Watch out, Jess. Smelly secrets are hard to keep.
Jason and Andy
Tasked with covering up Jason’s murder of Eggs, Andy comes up with a plan for them to simply act normal and wait for the heat from the Sheriff to abate. Andy basically forces Jason to go out and bang a bunch of chicks in order to show everything is “normal,” but he can’t do the deed without seeing what happened with Eggs. Needless to say it puts a cramp in his style and he can’t pull the trigger. Because his gun won’t go off. If you are picking up what I am putting down.
Tara is beside herself after Eggs’ murder and lashes out at anyone and everyone around her, including Sookie for showing Eggs what he did under Maryann’s spell. Her mother brings the Reverend over to soothe her. Tara acts like everything is fine but swallows all of the pills in Lafayette’s medicine cabinet as soon as her mother’s back is turned. And…this is officially already my least favorite storyline of the season. That was quick!
Sam is off in his own little show, having naughty dreams about Bill and searching fruitlessly (so far) for his birth parents. He follows up on what seems to be a promising lead but is turned away, although I have a feeling he was turned away because someone didn’t want to be found. I’m quite interested in Sam’s origins, but I hope he gets to interact with the rest of the cast soon.
- Oh, how I missed these characters! Every time someone made their first appearance I grinned like a fool.
- Loved how all of the jargon before the show was “True Blood” themed. All HD informational cards should have tiny little vampire teeth.
- Pam is delightful. So glad we’ll be seeing more of her this year.
- Was Lafayette’s basketball jersey/dress/belt/headwrap/fedora combo the most outrageous outfit he’s worn yet? Simply fabulous.
- Anna Paquin didn’t get many character moments as Sookie last season, which was a shame. She did a wonderful job in her scene with the Sheriff. More Sookie moments this year, please, writers! Her character is more than just a little nucleus all of the crazy things on the show revolve around.
- For the book readers: it looks like the kidnapping culprit is much different here than was portrayed in the books. What do you think of the switch?
- “How about you just call us the f*** you crew?” – Bill’s kidnappers
- “I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, all right? But honestly. Who here hasn’t?” – Arlene
- “Say it with me: conscience off. D*** on. And everything’s gonna be all right.” – Andy
- “I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam.” – Sookie
- “Hoyt, if you and me are going to be roommates there’s a certain amount of p**** overflow you just have to get used to dealing with.” – Jason