In this episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” Teresa throws her new baby a huge christening, while Joe continues to worry about their finances. And cracks in Danielle and Kim G.’s friendship turn into huge chasms.
Teresa’s big fat Italian
It’s time for Teresa’s newest daughter, Audriana, to be christened and she’s planning a huge affair. It’s getting more and more painful watching Teresa spend money, though, while Joe winces with each of her lavish demands (especially knowing what we know now about her bankruptcy). Teresa said on “The View” Monday (August 2) that Joe kept the severity of their finances from her. While it’s true that Joe comes off passive-aggressive in the show, it’s clear he’s dropping hints. Teresa just doesn’t choose to see them.
Nevertheless, Teresa wants what she wants. I love that Caroline’s son is in charge of Teresa’s party and that it’ll be sort of his big test of how well prepared he is after working at The Brownstone as a manager for one year. Now that’s a trial by fire.
On the day of the event, Joe was not in a good mood. Poor guy has been flipping pizzas to pay for Teresa’s spending habits. I’d be pissy, too. He does grant her a few pictures, but he pretty much just wants her to leave him alone. Good thing the cavalry arrives.
Dina is back! For one engagement only! I was shocked at how pleased I was to see her. Weren’t you? I also thought it was interesting that Italians have the godmother totally dress the baby for the ceremony. It’s always fun to learn something new about a culture.
The party was over-the-top, but we wouldn’t expect any less from Teresa. I mean when you see someone dressed as Marie Antoinette walking around a christening, you know you’re in for a good time. It felt like a wedding and a circus at the same time, which actually looked like fun. The best part was the first dance between Joe, Teresa… and the baby! On one level, it’s hilarious watching Teresa and Joe dance with their baby. They were just so serious. I’m sure if we were there, it may have been as touching as Caroline and Jacqueline found it. But for us viewers, it just looked bananas. Also did anyone catch that the group of guys that Joe was toasting, obviously related to him, all looked like Joe? It was as if we were looking at him at all stages of life. There was a younger Joe, an older Joe, and a Joe twin!
The OB/GYN is in (and so are the cameras)
Danielle took her teenaged daughter to her first gynecology appointment. As if having Danielle for a mother isn’t enough, Christine has to endure her first gyno visit in front of millions of people while she endures the sex talk twice – once with her mother and then with the doctor. Even worse, Danielle wouldn’t stop asking her if she’s having sex or if there are any boys she should be worried about. Embarrassing! I wouldn’t know, but female friends of mine who saw the episode say they would die if their mother put their first gyno visit on TV. How do you feel about that?
Kim G. exposed
Kim G. is still playing both sides. She drops in on Chris and her son, John, as they’re hanging out and starts to try to explain her actions to the boys. John looks really uncomfortable, probably because he knows where this is heading. Kim had previously asked Caroline to lunch, but Caroline turned her down. Now, she’s trying to get Caroline to have lunch with her by appealing to Chris. He says maybe Caroline will do it if the boys go, as well, and Kim quickly agrees. Later, when Chris tells his mother, Caroline sticks to her guns. She doesn’t want to get mixed up in Danielle drama and as long as Kim is hanging with her, she wants to steer clear of her, as well.
Later, Danielle goes over to Kim’s apartment. After they tell each other that they love each other about 15 times, Danielle tells Kim that she brought Christine for her first OB/GYN appointment. That got Danielle thinking about her adoptive mother and how she wasn’t there for Danielle like that. She then begins to tear up as she tells Kim that she wants to find her birth mother. Crying right along with her, Kim recommends someone who can help her.
Then, while Danielle and her daughters are having dinner later, Christine tells her mother that she heard she was looking for her birth mother. How does Christine know if Danielle didn’t tell her, pray tell? Well, Christine’s friend was getting her eyebrows done and the woman doing her eyebrows told her that Teresa had mentioned it when she was getting her eyebrows bushwhacked. So, since Kim was the only one Danielle told, then it’s obvious Kim told Teresa somehow. Right away, Danielle gets on the phone with her ex-felon, Danny, and says they have to do something about it. So, what’s their genius plan? Danielle is going to face off with Kim at a restaurant. Hold your applause. Danny, wait for it… is going to drive Danielle there! Well, that amazingly thought out plan explains why they both have arrest records.
Meanwhile, Kim shows up on Jacqueline’s doorstep, cursing up a storm. Turns out Danielle had called a mutual friend and told her not to be friends with Kim. She has no idea why Danielle would do such a thing and she seems really hurt and angry. Jacqueline (have to love her) tells Kim that it was only a matter of time before Danielle realized that Kim was a double agent.
When they meet up, Danielle is amazingly calm. It’s Kim that goes off the rails (as Bethenny likes to say). She’s throwing napkins, calling Danielle a sneak and getting bleeped left and right. Meanwhile, the entire restaurant is full of busybodies just watching the fight go down, toasting to the drama and even following them outside after Kim chases Danielle out. Best line came from Danielle when she said, “Kim was making a big display of disgusting.” Point for Danielle. I couldn’t have said it better myself. It must have felt like d�j� vu for Danny. You know, driving the getaway car again and all.
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Photo credit: Bravo