Previously on “The Apprentice”: There was a recession, and people lost their jobs. But Trump’s here to help by hiring one of them. Sixteen people were competing, but a bossy pageant princess got the boot a week ago — even though Trump didn’t really like either team. And we’re more than three minutes in before we get anything new — which was okay when this was a padded, two-hour show last season, but is that really necessary now? Anyway, in the suite, the women class it up by toasting to losing the “wicked witch.” [I would have thought that was Mahsa. — Angel] The men, meanwhile, decide Angry David will be their next project manager. Clint worries it could be their “kiss of death.” Or, you know, David’s. Shortened “Money, money, money” credits. We guess they cut here to make room for reliving last week’s episode in its entirety.
Next morning, the contestants are lined up in a park when Trump arrives with some henchmen (George! and Don) to tell them they’ll be selling ice cream, and winning is simple: Whoever makes the most profit wins. Poppy steps up to project manage for the ladies. They head off to set up their plans of attack. David talks about sucking people in with costumes, and he puts James (who wanted to fly under the radar, but he’s from New York) in charge of location. The ladies decide Mahsa will be in charge of location, and Stephanie will be in charge of sales, with three other people. Poppy puts Liza in charge of accounting, even though she interviews later she’s never done any sort of accounting ever. Let us guess: They’re going to have money problems in a challenge that’s all about profit.
The guys — decidedly not in costume, by the way — are busy selling in Union Square. “Selling” here seems to amount to just screaming about ice cream and hoping people bite. What a nice change from the “celebrity” version where they just call their rich friends, which we was sort of expecting them to do; We think we’d forgotten how this version works. Basically, they scream and flirt and consider this hard work. Especially for James and Alex, who just stand by and do nothing. Then they take off and find David to tell him the aggressive, hard-sell strategy is going overboard. James doesn’t consider this a plan anyway, and would rather just move to a new location. David listens, and moves their ice cream stand, and tells the guys not to scream so much.
The women get a later start than the guys, and things immediately turn dramatic, because Liza’s telling people they can pay $3, even though the price is $5. Stephanie bosses Poppy around and doesn’t care if the women hate her, but wants everyone to stick with $5. Even when potential customers tell them they should be ashamed for selling ice cream sandwiches for $5. Liza thinks they need wigs, matching tops, or something, because they’re not looking like a marketable brand. So, she and Poppy head to a store and get pink tank-tops and headbands. Then they find a new location where things are going better. Stephanie tells us how stupid it is for five girls to sell one Popsicle to one person, so she sells a case of them to a guy.
Back at Octane, James and Alex just mosey around a store looking for costumes. They’re in no hurry, because James is loving being away from the group who are just yelling at people. They get the barbershop-quartet vests and hats back to the team and they all get to selling. Alex does nothing wrong, but David interviews about how Alex is just a follower and a puppy dog. Then he says, “You can’t put a puppy dog in front of people in New York City and have it sell ice cream. It just doesn’t work.” That’s weird, because we think people in any city would rather buy from a puppy dog than from these guys. Because puppy dogs are adorable. James, who’s not a salesman, just gives people long spiels about the heat and ice cream, but doesn’t sell any. They all notice the girls are in the spot they gave up originally, and seem to be selling like crazy. James worries, because moving was his idea, so if they lose now, it’s not looking good for him. This is pretty boring. Maybe someone will blow a gasket soon and we’ll have some real drama to recap.
Eventually, the women’s luck turns …
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