It was a great week for celebrities. The women of “Mad Men” took to the Emmy red carpet to varying degrees of success, two teen idols united for one magical duet and the Kardashian sisters continued to feel way too comfortable around each other’s privates.
Not so lucky? The world’s animal population. We watched in horror as Bosnian puppies were sent to a watery grave, “Supernatural” star Misha Collins campaigned for raw pony-burgers, and squirrel injustices drove one man to hold the Discovery Channel hostage.
All in all, it’s been pretty WTF-tastic, so let’s count down the 10 most absurd moments in the week that was…
10. When Justin Met Miley
Two titans of tween fandom finally met on stage this week, and the world continues to turn. Miley Cyrus, rocking her curious new look, joined Justin Bieber for one song during his recent Madison Square Garden show, and though we know they were just playing to the crowd, Bieber’s excessive handsy-ness with Hannah Montana has us quietly praying to the super-couple gods. 9. The Kardashian sisters are too close
After Kourtney Kardashian‘s awkward, unsuccessful attempt to wax sister Khloe‘s crotch on “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami,” Kim, feeling left out, decided to spend some time with her sister’s vagina as well on a recent Kardashian laser hair removal field trip. Kim praised her sisters’ privates as “better looking” than she thought, reminding us once again, you should never have E! on during mealtime. 8. Misha Collins, pony-killer
Beloved “Supernatural” star Misha Collins has a noble new charity he’s currently plugging — when he’s not off on crazy tangents about witchcraft and eating raw pony meat. Zap2it sat down with the spastic philanthropist this week to take his confessions about, among other things, the world’s unsettling panda surplus. 7. The celebs who snubbed ‘DWTS’
Soon after the announcment of Season 11’s “Dancing with the Stars” cast, another list made the rounds: the stars who turned the show down. Now, there are folks we totally respect for their decision (Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice — both very busy), but there are a few more that totally blew it. Tim Allen, Ann Coulter and Suzanne Somers, don’t tell us you have anything better to do. 6. “Modern Family’s” impending gay kiss
Now, we here at Zap2it are big fans of “Modern Family” and find its Emmy win for best comedy to be nothing but deserving. Their fun and honest portrayal of a gay couple, in particular, has been a reason to champion the show. So while we appreciate their plans to have Cam and Mitchell finally kiss in an early Season 2 episode, we’d kindly appreciate they stop talking about it. Nothing “organic” can come on the heels of such excessive dialogue. 5. Someone give Christina Hendricks a dress
The “Mad Men” bombshell is easily one of the most photographed woman at any event she attends, so why is it that Christina Hendricks has to beg to get a decent garment? Her non-sample-size status means that she doesn’t get loaners from designers, only custom dresses from a handful of fans — all while co-star January Jones can pick one out of a magazine. At least Hendricks doesn’t get mocked on the Emmy Jumbotron. 4. Bristol Palin, Kate Gosselin 2.0
Kyle Massey aside (we still aren’t sure who he is), Bristol Palin has to be the biggest head-scratcher on this season of “Dancing with the Stars.” You’d think her lack of actual fame would have her behaving more graciously on set, but you’d be wrong. Apparently Alaska’s daughter has already earned a diva rep after less than a week in rehearsals. We’d call her out on it, but being a demanding monster got Kate Gosselin a gig as an “Entertainment Tonight” correspondent. Well played, Palin. 3. Public enemy #1: Puppy-throwing girl
There’s nothing funny to be said about the girl who tossed six live puppies into a river and videoed it, other than that she’s apparently already been caught. Bosnian police say the animal assassin now faces up to $6,400 in fines for animal cruelty — which, for someone in rural Bosnia who can’t afford dog food, is probably three years’ income. 2. Do not bring up Teresa’s family
Those “Real Housewives of New Jersey” do not disappoint. During the first hour of this season’s two-part reunion, Teresa whipped out one of her trademark tantrums, throwing Andy Cohen across the room for lack of a table to toss. And why? Danielle cryptically referenced a “nephew,” which must be some sort of Jersey euphemism. The big lesson here: Do not bring up Teresa’s family. Or her financial problems. Or that Sizzle Tans commercial. 1. The Discovery gunman’s list of demands
And the WTF-iest item of note this week is another shouldn’t be funny but really is. We don’t know what was more odd about the list of demands left by the now-dead man who took the Discovery Channel’s Maryland offices hostage, the actual demands or that he thought Discovery (or anyone) could possibly meet them. The reportedly squirrel-obsessed crusader made special point to note that nothing was more important than saving North America’s favorite front-yard rodent — which may be the least endangered mammal on the planet.
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