laura linney the big c 320 'The Big C' recap: "All That Rave Dancing is Life Threatening!"On “The Big C”: Cathy’s plans for Adam this week: Teaching him to drive, and demanding he learn to cook at least three “survival meals,” in addition to one “romantic” dessert, before the summer’s over. Adam gives Sean a haircut in barter for his choker, which he plans to wear to a party that night. If Adam inherited his mother’s Spontaneity Curse, he’d be better off staying home, because it is in full effect tonight.

So yeah, apparently Cathy did run off to the Bahamas. Not that anyone really cared, but when she offers to accompany Paul to dinner with his boss and fellow promoted VP, he hisses at her like Gollum and runs away. Dr. Todd is horrified to “learn” that Paul has left Cathy in the midst of her illness, which means her relationship with him is now 100% lies. When she finally submits herself for a clinical trial, it turns out she could’ve gotten in, if she’d only accepted treatment in the first place.

Cathy, of course, deals with this latest blow by offering to share some E — found in class, nobody’s speaking up, Andrea still hates her anyway — with Lenny that night.

Sean offers to escort Marlene on a date with an elderly friend of his, after she shows up looking for ice cubes for her Fresca. To everybody’s surprise, she consents. When the guy turns out to be a nonstop Tex Avery horndog, Sean is humiliated… Right up until Marlene tells him to get the hell out of there and stop c***-blocking her. (It sounds like so much Betty White Says The F Word! bulls***, but it’s way less rapping-grannies than it seems. For e.g. it’s actually, you know, cleverly done.)

Andrea’s grossed out to find freshman Adam at the party, but soon enough they’re hanging out like usual. At some point the whole party starts chanting, trying to get Adam to go upstairs and rape this girl, and Andrea steps in to vouch for his lack of virginity. Caught between a rape and a fat place, Adam manages to be the second Jamison in a week to seriously hurt Andrea’s feelings for no real reason.

Adam calls Cathy to pick him up, but she’s too busy talking about “energy” and f***ing Lenny in the backyard, where Paul spots them. He heads to his business dinner, drinks an impressive amount, and then tries to talk his fellow-promotee out of getting gay-married because it’s all such a horrific sham. Then he drunk-drives over to the party and picks up Adam, who immediately drives his car into a tree. Cathy runs off to meet them, in a tuxedo shirt and no pants, possibly still high.

At the hospital, Paul drunkenly calls Cathy out for f***ing around in their house, then runs into Dr. Todd, giving the distinct impression that he knows absolutely nothing about his wife’s condition. Dr. Todd, justifiably hurt, yells at Cathy for being a liar and a coward. When she says it wouldn’t make her any happier to tell Paul the truth, he asks a very good question: How could she possibly know that?

Not that we’re getting the answer this week, either: Just as she sits him down — for what, the fifth time? — to tell him what’s really going on, Paul interrupts… To demand a divorce.

Photo credit: Showtime