On the Dec. 8 episode of “Cougar Town” it was revealed that Grayson (Josh Hopkins) was a sequined-vest wearing, tap-dancing member of the pageant circuit when he was a child (Hey, he was Little Mr. Miami and he proudly broke down the gender barrier). We also learned he was a model for the unfortunate, but hilarious, Hot Bartenders of Florida Calendar, Fabio hair and Speedo included.
This isn’t the first time a TV character has had a past they’ve been embarrassed about and desperate to hide. Fortunately for us, these misspent youths usually make for very, very funny television (except for the time we learned Jordan Catalano couldn’t read on “My So-Called Life.” Not so funny). We’ve decided to to turn back the fictional prime-time clock and compiled some of our favorite TV characters’ pasts.
As Ellie so eloquently told Grayson, “Welcome to your past, biyatch!”
Robin Scherbatsky, “How I Met Your Mother”
Possibly one of the greatest reveals in television history, the “HIMYM” gang learned their friend Robin has a dark, dark past: She was a Canadian pop star named Robin Sparkles. If that wasn’t enough, we were gifted with the epic music video for her hit, “Let’s Go To The Mall.” Go on, watch and rock your body ’til Canada Day. Just don’t forget the robot.
Liz Lemon, “30 Rock”
Or should we say Bijou? It turns out Liz was actually in a phone-sex commercial, in which she played tug-of-war with a towel, crawled with a rose in her mouth and was fed pizza by a co-“model.” Our favorite part? The phone number: 1-(900) OK-FACE.
Spike, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
Before he was a bleach blond vampire who got his nickname from his preferred method of killing (railroad spikes), Spike was an aspiring, albeit awful, poet in the Victorian era. His nickname back then was “William the Bloody” because his poetry was so “bloody awful.” While it is a pretty harsh nickname, his poetry did kind of (read: totally) suck. Don’t believe us? Read this:”My heart expands/ ’tis grown a bulge in’t/ inspired by/ your beauty effulgent.”
Izzie Stevens, “Grey’s Anatomy”
Hoping to be taken seriously, Izzie was not pleased when fellow intern Karev exposed that she used to be a lingerie model for designer Bethany Whisper by placing the ads all over Seattle Grace. Izzie got the last laugh however, saying, “Gather around and check out the booty that put Izzie Stevens through
med school! You wanna call me Dr. Model? That’s fine. Just remember
that while you’re still sitting on two hundred grand of student loans,
I’m out of debt.” Touch�.
Monica Geller and Rachel Green, “Friends”
Hopkins isn’t the only actor on “Cougar Town” to have an embarrassing TV past. His on-screen girlfriend Courteney Cox donned a fat suit as young Monica who weighed 255 lbs. in high school. In the flashback scenes, we also got to see a pre-nose job Rachel, who claims she had the surgery for a deviated septum. Check out high school Monica and Rachel dancing at a college party thrown by Ross and Chandler (remember his Flock of Seagulls hairstyle? We do).
Did we leave off your favorite TV character’s past? Hit us up in the comment.