Please excuse us while we take a moment to catch our breath after those final moments of “Pretty Little Liars'” Jan. 17 episode. This show has provided us with plenty of creepy images before (Hi “A” signing Hanna’s cast!), but watching the four girls see Alison’s murder happen (we think), may be the series’ most creeptastic moment yet. We had already seen the scene last week at the show’s TCA panel, but it was just as effective the second time around. Kudos, “PLL.” Kudos.
In a surprising turn of events, apparently “A” is now helping the girls (OK, except for the whole trying to kill Hanna misunderstanding) with their love lives and financial problems. Is “A” also going to help the girls find Alison’s killer? It sure seems like it after she sent them the video of Ian and Alison. Still, the Liars don’t know what to believe anymore and neither do we.
You smell that? Smells like some good ol’ fashioned drama… preferably in cupcake form. Let’s dissect the episode, Liar by Liar:
Emily (Shay Mitchell) and Maya (Bianca Lawson) are still together and still creeping her mom, Pam, out. When the two start playing footsie on the bed, Pam rushes in and is extremely rude to Maya. After she leaves, Emily takes Pam down about 20 levels with this biting line: “For the first time in my life, I am ashamed that you are my mother.” Feel the burn, Pam.
Later, Pam decides to make things even better by going through Maya’s bag. She stumbles upon some weed in an Altoids tin and, in the show’s biggest twist yet, she smokes it. OK, so she didn’t smoke it, but it would have been funny if she did. Pam calls Maya’s parents (Rat!) and gets her sent to “Juvie camp” for three months. And Emily didn’t even get to say goodbye. Le sigh…
Fake out! Maya sets up a romantic fire hazard (seriously, that was a whole lot of candles) in Spencer’s room so the two can have a proper goodbye complete with slow dancing. Maya’s departure makes a lot of sense considering what Mitchell told us about Emily having numerous new love affairs this season.
Is it just us or is Spencer (Troian Bellisario) kind of getting stuck with the lamer storylines? Last week it was Alex’s Swiss tennis camp drama (no comment) and now it’s becoming a Veronica Mars knock-off, complete with a really bad fake accent. Miss Mars, she is not.
Sure you could say Ian and Melissa factor into her storyline, but really, they factor into all of the girls’ now that everyone has seen Ian’s mug on that tape. Ian and Melissa seem to have some big secret that we kind of don’t care about. “They’ll have questions, ones I’m not prepared to answer. We’re in this together,”
Ike Ian tells Melissa. After Spencer overhears this totally normal newlywed conversation, she receives a text from “A” saying, “Married for love or an alibi?” Later, we learn their secret is they are trying to have a baby. Are you buying it? We’re not.
Noel (Brant Daugherty) continues to be the creepy thorn in Aria (Lucy Hale) and Ezra’s (Ian Harding) side that just won’t stop creeping until he gets an “A” on his essay, damn it! He’s got a game to play in. Where’s your school spirit, Ezra?
Our favorite moment of the episode was the confrontation between Ezra and Noel. (It would have been our favorite of the series if there was some kind of oil involved, but we digress.) Noel heads into Ezra’s classroom to discuss his grade and decides to start off his grade-crusade by insulting Ezra’s clothes. “Nice vest. This is your teacher look, right? I’m an observant guy. I see things other people may not notice.” Um, we noticed Ezra’s seemingly endless collection of vests about four episodes ago. Get with it, Noel.
Anyway, Vest-lover Ezra isn’t backing down about the grade… until Noel tells another student Aria is into older guys. Vest-lover Ezra tells Noel he’ll take another look, but still gives the paper a “C” later in the episode. Creepy Noel is not pleased.
We find out Ezra isn’t the only new friend Noel is making. He’s been hanging out with Aria’s little brother Mike (remember him?!). Mike tells Aria that Noel heard a rumor that Mr. Fitz is hooking up with one of his students and is going to tell the principal tomorrow. So, to not totally make it obvious or anything, Aria abruptly leaves and heads to Ezra’s loft of love.
At the loft of love, Ezra is rocking his “I’m-being-blackmailed-by-a-16-year-old-and-I’m-about-to-go-to-jail” hair. It still looks good. Ezra tells Aria, “What you and I have is the most real and honest thing in my life and that’s something I hope you remember, no matter what happens tomorrow.” Aria says “I love you” for the first time. Curiously, he doesn’t say it back, but he is willing to go to prison for her so we’ll let it go… for now.
The next day, vest-lover Ezra decided to protect all of his vests and wear a sweater to school. Before Noel has a chance to destroy our show’s core couple (Boo! Hiss!) the principal opens his locker and finds three stolen midterms. Gasp — “A” is a Ezria shipper! And also debunks the girls’ theory that amateur Noel is “A.” Back to the lab, ladies.
Side-note: Aria’s dad made an appearance, but whatever. We’re like Alison: we hate old people. Not really, we just hate old people with boring storylines. Next.
Poor, poor Hanna (Ashley Benson). “A” is willing to give Hanna back some of the money her mother stole and then had stolen from her… for a price. At school, Hanna finds a $100 bill taped to her locker, which tells her to go to the town cupcake store (A+ Rosewood!). Hanna buys a box of cupcakes, which “A” tells her she must sit and eat every one if she wants to see the money again.
As she’s eating, a group of total (fill in your favorite expletive) jocks start making pig noises. Then it’s time for a Hefty Hanna flashback, complete with the fat suit! (Fun fact: We asked Lucy Hale if she’s tried it on. She says some of the cast has but she hasn’t yet.)
After H.H. binges on a pie, she runs to throw out the evidence when Alison walks in. In a suprising moment of kindess, Alison walks up and hugs Hanna and tells her, “I understand. You don’t have to feel this way. I can show you how to get rid of it.” Ruh roh. We don’t like the sound of that. Our worst suspicions are confirmed when Hanna tells Aria that Alison showed her how to throw up. – 100 points, Alison.
Aria then lets Hanna go to the bathroom by herself (which you totally do right after your friend tells you she used to throw up her meals and she just binged on a box of cupcakes) where “A” has left a creative message (money actually) for Hanna… on the paper towels. Seriously, she’s so crafty. What else do you think “A” is capable of getting Hanna to do? We’re kind of scared to find out.
Other thoughts and musings:
– Emily to the rest of the girls about her romantic side: “Walks in the rain, picnics by the lake, dancing naked in candlelight.” Lesbianism 101, kids.
– Aria: “Don’t you guys have practice or did you lose your balls?” Hands down, best line of the night.
-Poor Toby (Keegan Allen). You know it’s bad when small children holding ice cream run away from you like you just told them they have to take a bath.
-Wasn’t Toby on house arrest last week? Why can he ju
st wander around scaring little kids in
Stars Hollow Rosewood now? Also, he cried a single man tear! Watch out Toby, that’s kind of Jensen Ackles thing on “Supernatural.” You’re in enough trouble as it is.
-It seems like we might see an unexpected friendship blossom between Spencer and Toby, no?
-Aria: “‘A’ saved my relationship.” She also tried to kill your best friend. Check yourself, girl.
-No Mona or Jenna! Yay! That’s like a “Gossip Girl” episode without Vanessa and Jenny.