There’s something decidedly anticlimactic about dropping a video for a song after it’s already been overplayed for months on every radio station and awards show. We love you, Taylor Swift, and we’re really excited for your next album (tentatively titled “Donnie Darko Filled Me With Darkness”), but the “Back to December” video is a snoozefest at best.
Here’s what we do like about the video: Swift’s hair. The pin-straight bangs are a definite upgrade from her loose, natural-looking waves, which were getting kind of… um, boring. We also dig the spare-looking (snow-filled) apartment that she’s singing in. It’s fun to watch her pretend to be a regular 20-something when we know that her real Nashville apartment is basically a fairy fantasy land with a stingray pond in the living room.
The little birdcage on the floor of video-Taylor’s bedroom may be an homage to the human-sized birdcage that is in Taylor’s actual apartment. No, seriously, boys. The girl who wrote “Forever and Always” has a cage in her house that you can fit into. Run.
Speaking of — Swift’s friends have been talking to the press about her love life again. Apparently, Jake Gyllenhaal dumped her just before New Year’s Eve… over the phone.
We’re hoping the call lasted longer than twenty-seven seconds. (Obligatory Joe Jonas reference: Check.)
“Jake just told her it wasn’t working out…Taylor is really upset and
hurt. She doesn’t know what she did for him to put a stop to it. She
feels really burned by him,” a source tells Us. “Jake started this whole thing, but then he just stopped responding to her.”
Maybe he saw the cage.
So here are our friendly suggestions, Swifty! 1) Keep your hair straight. It makes you look like a grown up, but not a grandma. 2) Stay single for a while. Dating tabloid-magnets is only going to make all of your new songs sound like all of your old songs. 3) Don’t do any more videos with bathtub scenes. Seeing you in a bathtub fully-clothed and crying just makes us want to remove all sharp objects from your presence.