michelle trachtenberg maxim 3 Michelle Trachtenberg's Maxim cover: Child pageant queen or '80s porn star?

Don’t get us wrong. We love Michelle Trachtenberg. We love her from “Buffy,” we love her from “Gossip Girl” and we especially love her from “The Adventures of Pete & Pete.”

So know that it comes from a place of genuine respect and affection when we say that her cover shoot for the March issue of Maxim looks like an ill-fated Glamour Shots session someone just recovered from time capsule buried in 1987.

The makeup, the eyes, the hair and the obvious airbrushing all take a way from the natural beauty of the ‘berg. Yes? Yes.

michelle trachtenberg maxim 1 Michelle Trachtenberg's Maxim cover: Child pageant queen or '80s porn star?michelle trachtenberg maxim 2 Michelle Trachtenberg's Maxim cover: Child pageant queen or '80s porn star?