Paul throws some kind of timely Schiavo fit about Beth, who is on life support, but eventually — after speaking to Felicia about how they are to blame for Beth’s crazy actions — Paul decides to give Susan Beth’s kidney after all. Sadly, Felicia gets random probation, proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished in Fairview. Mike spends the whole time trying to convince Susan to fight Paul for the kidney, because this show’s only moral is that everybody else is an asshole, so you might as well screw people whenever you can.
For e.g., Tom gets offered some major awesome job out of nowhere, but wibbles and wobbles about it because this would mean screwing over Carlos, for whom apparently he works. Lynette, jizzing over the idea of money all of a sudden, does about a thousand gross Lynette-type things to get him to take the job, and eventually I guess it works. You know how the Scavos are gross? Well, now they are gross with money. (Although it must be said that Lynette’s rockin’ quite the bod and apparently has given herself a rich-lady makeover for the foreseeable.)
Meanwhile, Renee refuses to let a little thing like yet another wife of Paul Young blowing her own head off interfere with her annual Spring Fling party. Because Wisteria Lane has class occasionally, nobody actually wants to attend, so she invites like pool guys and college kids, and it’s really kind of sad. Eventually Gabrielle figures out that Renee’s being even more vicious than usual about Beth’s suicide because her own mother did the same, so I guess they’re friends now or something.