Footage of Porn Mouth dead drunk, getting treated like a puppet by a random boy at last week’s party hits the internet and stirs things up. Parents who saw the party clip are calling for the very football players who are the stars of the show to get expelled from the team! But Coach and Tami vow to whip these death-wish teens into shape. Coach gets very stern with his players, by making them wear coats and ties. The girls get stuck in an endlessly droning meeting with a drug and alcohol counselor. In other words, the girls once again get the s*** end of the stick.
Proving that rule is Julie, who has the good luck to be the one millionth girl to fall for a lowly humanities TA’s smoke and mirrors game– you know, the one where a shabby blazer, through some process of alchemy, aided by the misperception of youth, starts to look sexy. What I’m trying to say is, the minute stupid (married!) Derek Bishop gives her a C- and tells her to “take some risks,” she jumps into bed with him. I hope there’s a Felicity-esque time travel episode at some point where we can fast forward and get a drink with Julie when she’s thirty, groaning over what the hell she was thinking with this schlub.
Vince’s father is out of prison and Vince is all het up about it. He doesn’t want this man, who abandoned them and seemingly abused his mother, back in his life. Vince brings it all to Coach, breaking down and shouting that he doesn’t know how to be good, to be a stand-up man, because his father never taught him how. When Coach and Vince hug at the end of a Lions win, Vince’s father looks on with regret. Later, he packs his bags and leaves Vince and his mother, telling Vince that he knows he missed his chance to be his father, but that he’s proud of him nonetheless.