With no more stupid torch walk and a Redemption Island quadruel to sandwich into the two-hour finale, things actually went pretty quickly. Which is good, because this episode, like the rest of the season, was predictable and ultimately not very memorable. Andrea provides us with probably the only surprise of the episode when she beats Grant, Mike, and Matt out for a spot back in the game. But then she doesn’t win immunity and the hated Ashley does, so she’s pretty much screwed at the next Tribal Council. She tries to convince Ashley and Natalie that it’s in their best interests to align with her, but they don’t go for it, which was a good thing for them since Rob plays his immunity idol so he wouldn’t have been voted out no matter what. Andrea is voted out unanimously and Redemption Island is officially useless. And Ashley and Natalie lose Andrea’s jury vote, if they ever had it in the first place. Rob narrowly beats Ashley out to win the last immunity challenge, but Ashley isn’t too worried since Phillip is the obvious choice to vote out next and she has her BFF Natalie to tell her if Rob has anyone else in mind. Rob decides that he’d rather go the end against Phillip than Ashley, though, and tells Natalie she has to turn against Ashley. Natalie has a chance to tell Ashley the truth and doesn’t, so Ashley is blindsided and becomes the final juror. And Natalie loses Ashley’s vote, if she ever had it in the first place.
After the traditional last day breakfast and some insanity from Phillip, who is now decked out in mock Indian robes (a.k.a. a blanket) and a headband full of feathers, the Final Tribal Council begins and the jury is its usual bitter angry self. No one has any respect for Natalie or Phillip, who does an absolutely abysmal job trying to convince the jury to vote for him even after promising us that he knew an argument that could give him the win over Rob. He basically yells at them and even tells some jurors not to vote for him. I was so hoping he would drop the crazy act and shock us all by being totally rational and saying he was putting everyone on this whole time, but no. After David uses his juror question to sing Rob’s praises, it’s pretty clear that Rob has this in the bag. Sure enough, he wins everyone’s votes except Ralph’s, who voted for Phillip. So Rob had to play this game four freaking times to win it and his fourth time had to be with a group of easily-lead idiots, but he finally gets his million dollar prize.