Tonight on “Love in the Wild” comes the forced switcheroo that host Darren McMullen told Zap2it last week would change the game for the rest of the episodes. Mike in particular is not a happy camper at the switch.
Everybody is basking in their comfy partnerships that they have found. Hahaha, just you wait – dun dun dunnnnn. They can’t let the couples get too comfy or else the show will lose all 24 viewers it has because it’ll be boring. Also? Brandee is upset Ben hasn’t kissed her yet. Ughhhh.
In the morning, Darren announces the switch. The way this works is first off, the first-place couple does not get a guaranteed switch. Secondly, now it’s guys’ turn to choose and Mike is ticked off. They draw for order – Skip picks Jessica, Ben picks Samantha (well, Mike should feel confident he can get her back), Steele picks Heather (who really does not want to be with him), Derek picks Erica, Mike picks Theresa and Miles gets Brandee by default, but he is pumped he gets her.
Adventure Challenge. Vamos!
The lockbox part is just dumb luck and Derek/Erica and Ben/Samantha get it first, folloed by Skip and Jessica. They then have to put heavy crates on a pack mule and lead them – some are more cooperative than others. After the mule-leading, they have to crowbar their crates open – two comments stick out to me here. First, Skip says his brain is so much bigger than the mule’s and while this is really low-hanging fruit in terms of jokes – um, don’t be so sure, Skip.
Secondly, Samantha remarks that Ben should be able to crowbar open a crate because he’s from the South. Now, I’m not from the South, but – I don’t understand that. Is the South just full of … crate-openers? Thieves? Does it have something to do with the meth or moonshine stereotype? I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with slavery … I give up. That was just a weird comment to make.
Inside the crates are harnesses and helmets for rappelling. Awesome. Rappelling is so much fun. And also, Brandee and Miles are way behind and Brandee says she expected that the man could open the lockbox because that’s a man’s job. Yes. The women have the babies, the men … open the lockboxes. Totally.
Back at the crates, Steele runs off with his crate because he’s a giant hulk of a man with no brains or social skills whatsoever. His partner Heather is back there struggling to pick hers up. Nice.
At the rappelling, Skip and Jessica catch up to Ben and Samantha, but then Samantha passes Skip while rappelling and Skip’s manhood shrivels into a fig. Or so I imagine.
Derek/Erica are in first, grab a wooden Idol after the rappelling and head for the finish line, but then Derek drops the Idol on his foot and it’s bleeding pretty decently. He probably broke his toe. Jess and Skip catch up and Jess wants to stop because she likes Derek – like-likes him.
But then Derek tells them to finish and they can win, but they decide to let Ben and Samantha pass them so that Ben/Sam go to the Oasis instead. Samantha talking-heads while they are sitting next to each other that she’s going to be thinking about Mike. To his credit, Ben takes it in stride.
Skip explains if he’s going to go to the Oasis for the first time, he wants it to be with Theresa. Awww. So Derek and Erica finish third because he powers through like a mofo, then they take him away in an ambulance. Yeouch.
Mike and Theresa are fourth, Heather and Steele take fifth and poor Brandee and Miles are last. In the course of the final stretch, Heather remarks abotu how good-looking Steele is. Um, I don’t actually think he is THAT good-looking. Do they just keep getting the women to say this because that is his only redeeming quality? I just don’t see it. He’s NOT that hot.
As Derek gets taken away int he ambulance, Jess is crying and very worried. It’s must be twu wove! (Princess Bride’d).
The Oasis/The Cabins
Ben thinks it’s perfect to “get to know” Samantha, while Mike is back at the cabins worried about Ben “perving out” on Samantha. Hahaha. Yeah. meanwhile, Jess leaves Derek a note for when he gets back. Oh, she’s so smitten. I think moreso than he is.
Back at the Oasis, Ben adn Samantha seem to have a good time together. He’s being so much less abrasive than he has been with Brandee. Does he just know that he can’t boss Samantha around? While he can sense weakness in Brandee? It’s baffling. Gosh, I wish Brandee had a better personality because I think she’s so pretty.
Back at the cabins, Mike and Brandee are pretty surprised their significant others haven’t come over to hang out. They eventually do come to hang and Mike is excited, so he and Samantha cuddle right up. But Ben does not come over to hang out with Brandee and she feels rejected. Poor Brandee. Seriously, you are better than this, cute girl. Drunk Ben calls her stupid and Miles says to Ben, “You’re a d***, FYI.” Go Miles.
Speaking of Miles, he goes off with Heather and they reaffirm they want to be together, but since he was last and she was second-to-last, there isn’t much hope for them to stay together. He tries to tell her if there’s someone else she likes, to go hang out with him, but she says no, there isn’t anyone and they smooch. Awww. Black heart melted.
But Miles then talks to Brandee in the cabin about her problems with Ben and Miles nails it that he can tell Brandee just wants some positive reinforcement from Ben. Aww, Miles is such a good guy.
In the morning, Brandee pours her heart out to Heather and she even talking-heads that she attracts the bad boys and she thought Ben would be different. Um, lady? You don’t attract them, you are attracted to them and you are a glutton for punishment. Get some self-worth, pull yourself up and find a nice guy!
I mean, when talking about Derek at breakfast, Brandee says, “Poor Derek, bless his heart.” “Bless his heart”? Who says that? She is way too good for Ben.
Couples Choice Ceremony
Derek is still absent and since his toe is broken and he has a pretty nasty open wound, he is eliminated. But he comes back to talk to everyone before he leaves. Derek tells Jess he cares about her and she has an open invitation to come to LA whenever she wants. She says she doesn’t want to stay with anyone either. They hug as he leaves, aww.
Now on to the switch. Samantha asks Mike to rejoin her and of course he agrees. Then Ben chooses to ask Brandee and SHE SAYS NO. Hot. You go, girl! But he can’t get eliminated, right? Because Derek is gone?
Jess/Skip is next and Jess chooses to go to the unchosen area so Skip can go with Theresa and she doesn’t break anybody else’s couple up. Aww, that’s great! Skip chooses Theresa (after he says his bigger-than-a-donkey-brain has shut down for the third time that night).
Erica is next and she chooses Steele, who says yes. He says, “I’m actually gonna have to accept this.” Nice. Now Heather asks Miles and he agrees, which leaves Brandee, Jess and Ben.
Brandee puts herself in the unmatched area and Ben gets to choose between Jess and Brandee, or to eliminate all three of them. Ben says some nice things to Brandee and then asks her to stay with him and she says yes. Because he said a few nice things and that’s what guys like him do, I’ve dated one. They string you along with a nice morsel and t
hen go back to treating you like poop.
There’s a weird bit of editing where Ben must have said something kind of salacious on accident. Huh.
Jess seems OK to be eliminated. She’s going to go find Derek and live happily ever after, we hope.
So – Darren promised the switcheroo would have effects all season, but it seems like nothing big happened. They’re all back together the way they were. Hmmm.