gordon ramsay hells kitchen 'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Paul Is Adorable, Like a Non Blue SmurfSo: one jacket to rule them all, one jacket to find them. One jacket to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. The five surviving chefs celebrate while Elise tells us all what an amazing accomplishment she just accomplished, and Will naively hopes that all the **** that went down in the Red Kitchen dies now that the Red Kitchen is gone. He says this like it was the Red Kitchen’s fault, like it’s the haunted Overlook Hotel. It’s tempting to think that Ramsay could easily start murdering people with an axe, I’ll admit. Anyway, while the cheftestants drink champagne, everyone pledges profanity-laced allegiance to a no-bull****-from-here-on-in approach, which will last until the next challenge, I imagine.

The next morning, the Black Five show up in their new jackets — which are really white jackets with black trim — and Ramsay tells them their next challenge is all about presentation. They’re going to be working with “ugly” food, like meatloaf — foods that require a lot of work to look good. There are five plates scattered around Hell’s Kitchen with ugly dishes labeled on them, and they’re all going to have to run to get them for some reason. Is this more entertaining than just randomly drawing the dishes out of a hat? Even with the “wacky” carnival music, I say no. Anyway, Elise is pleased to get eggplant parmesan, and she apparently elbowed Paul and risked him getting a spinal cord injury by falling down the stairs.

They have fifty minutes, and I’m briefly concerned that this is going to be a 24-style real-time episode. They get to cooking, and Paul is pissed that Elise has so many plates going. This, to him, makes her a pain in the ass. He may not be wrong, but you’d think that reason is far down Elise’s lengthy list.