While the Oscars are still five months away, apparently it’s not too early for past host Steve Martin to lend advice to next year’s emcee Eddie Murphy.
Martin went to his website for an open letter to his “Bowfinger” co-star outlining tips for hosting the Academy Awards.
Here are a few snippets of guidance Martin offered:
- “Whatever you do, don’t have a co-host. They’re a big pain…” (Presumably this was not approved by Martin’s co-host Alec Baldwin.)
- “Start slimming down now. You looked kinda paunchy in ‘Norbit‘.”
- “The losers can feel very sad, so when you’re backstage with them, pat their backs, then shake your head sadly. It’s a blast!”
- “Fortunately, only you and I can get away with smuggling out an Oscar in our pants.”
We do take a smidge of offense to Martin’s last suggestion, “Remember to relax and have a good time while 12,000 livebloggers rip you to shreds.”
That never happens.