So, right now I’m going to be brave enough to ask the question that The Biggest Loser will not: What have you done today to make you feel proud? Nostalgia, I know! As for me, I didn’t eat the whole box of macaroni and cheese.
We enter with the hillbilly guy singing a funny song to everyone else. What’s his name? Big Hillbilly Someone, I think. Jed, maybe? Earl? Sami wastes no time in entering and reminding everyone that last week, they were put in teams according to age. And there are a lot of stereotypes regarding age. You know, like how young people sleep in all the time and the old fogeys can’t stay up at night. This week, the show is going to put those stereotypes to the test. Sami asks for a volunteer from each team, and we are reminded that the hillbilly’s name is Vinny. He volunteers for the youngsters (Red), as does Mike for the old team (Blue) and Antone for the middles (Black). Although Antone is black and Mike is red in the face, those parentheticals are for the team colors only.
The three volunteers are led into the back room of doom and doughnuts. It’s donuts, donuts, everywhere. Coconut covered donuts! Boston cr�me, maybe. Vinny wonders if this is Homer Simpson’s secret treehouse before realizing that they’ve entered a temptation challenge. Sami tells them that their luxury in being on the show is that they get to work out with world class trainers any time they want. This week, however, things are a-changing: the gym will only be open three times a day. In the morning, it will be open from 5:00 – 7:00 a.m. Mid-day it will be open from noon – 2:00 p.m., and at night it will be open from 9:00 – 11:00 p.m. Each team will get to work out during one of those time slots only, for the entire week. The three men have a pile of mini-donuts in front of them, each of which contains 35 calories. Whichever team collectively eats the most donuts in rounds of three minutes will get to choose the gym schedules for all teams.
The challenge begins! Vinny sways back and forth, and tells us that he actually came on this show so that he wouldn’t die, and donuts are an instrument of the devil. He’s abstaining, even though he dreads the possibility of waking up early. So stereotypical! Mike had been planning to abstain, but then figures it’s lunchtime anyway. He starts shoveling in the donuts. We don’t get immediate confirmation of this, but it doesn’t look like Antone has eaten anything. The second round of folks enters. Blue team Becky eats nothing, and looks quite smug about it. Joe from the Black Team tries out some smack talk and sort of shuffles things around and bangs his elbows on the privacy partitions to make it sound like he’s eating donuts. Patrick from the Red Team does not buy it, and also does not eat any donuts.