There is one irrefutable law in Hollywood: if something succeeds, then everybody else jumps on it like sharks on chum.
The runaway success of “The Lion King” 3D re-release has studios diving through their archives to see what classics they can update and repackage. And why wouldn’t they? After 17 years on the shelf, “The Lion King” has spent two weekends atop the box office chart and raked in over $65 million. Not bad considering that high-profile summer releases are still rolling out (sorry, “Drive“).
So get ready for some not-so-new 3D releases including:
- “Star Wars: Episode One“
- “Top Gun“
The first two on the list are confirmed with “Titanic” coming in April and “Star Wars” hitting in February, while the next two are in the works as confirmed by the studios themselves. But here’s what we want to see re-released in 3D.
- “Showgirls 3D” — imagine the sheer majesty of Elizabeth Berkley’s dance moves flying at you in three dimensions!
- “Pootie Tang 3D” — audiences will instinctively flinch when Pootie’s belt-buckle nearly takes their heads off
- “About Schmidt 3D” — nothing more mind-blowing then Kathy Bates nudity so realistic, it’s as if you can touch it!
- “The Godfather 3D” — may as well ruin as a classic while we’re at it
- “Jaws 3D in 3D” — an already 3D movie re-released in 3D will create a 9D paradox of space-time relativity that may collapse the universe. Or it’ll just suck.