Instead of FutureTed giving us an intro, we jump right into Robin talking to Kal Penn (her court mandated therapist) about a recent assault incident she’s been charged with. We flash back to see that Robin’s still really hung up on Barney (ugh) and is really annoyed that he’s going all out to impress Nora, including singing “When a Man Loves a Woman” to her in the office. Robin, when not crying under her desk, happily volunteers Nora for an assignment in France so that she’ll have time to win Barney’s affections back. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate this storyline?
Anyway, the two of them actually have some great moments as Barney decides to clear out all of the horrible “get laid quick” schemes he’s got running around town. It begins with his breast enlargement surgery ads, and then he goes through saying a tearful goodbye to Port Authority Mitch (who kept an eye out for wide-eyed innocents), hairdresser Jack Fantastic who just so happened to have a fabulous straight brother and the Cold Call 5000 (a machine set to reach out to 22 and 23-year-old ladies who have a penchant for body glitter and pasties). When they are done, Barney’s feeling great and thanks his “bro” Robin, but she wants to dress skanky and go out for a night on the town (as soon as Barney covers the duck tie with a vest).
Of course, Nora returns at that very moment, and the cutesy couple head off for dinner, just as a skank shows up from the Cold Call 5000 list. Robin initially tries to sabotage Nora’s date, but a conversation with Ted actually makes her stop the girl, using some brutal physical tactics. Hence, the therapy session. For his part, Kal Penn calls Robin out on her tendency to divert attention (she spends most of the session talking about Lily’s baby) and act like a crazy woman in love, so that’s refreshing. But we’re still stuck with Robin having these FEELINGS about Barney that are likely going to come up again.