Paris Hilton. Kim Kardashian. Heidi Montag. These are reality TV stars who released albums. Using rudimentary skills in logic and pattern making, we can determine the following, irrefutable law: Reality TV stars make terrible music.
“I’ve been passionate about music all my life…I’ve been playing classical piano since I was six. So I understand the form, but it will be fun to able to translate a message.”
We are passionate about rigatoni a la vodka, but you don’t see us trying to sell you a line of frozen foods. But we digress. However (and we have to ask), doesn’t it take some experience to put out an album?
“I think it’s much like tattooing or the TV show or makeup, my clothing line, fashion…All those things, they’re just different outlets to be able to be creative. So music, I think it’s going to be one of those things.”
To test the theory that music is like tattooing, we poured black ink on a piano and then started hammering away with an electric needle. We gleaned some interesting sonic results, many of which we expect will sound much like Von D’s upcoming album.
At least she’s got good emotional motivation. Von D recently broke up with Sandra Bullock cast-off Jesse James. No word yet on whether or not James plans to cut an album, but we assume it’s only a matter of time.