Previously: Ramon and Jessica were hot and heavy, pardon the pun, and they didn’t appreciate Anna butting into their damn business. Crazy Jen was eliminated even though the Black Team had the highest percentage of weight lost, by virtue of her personality alone. In a personal “previously,” I have managed to be judicious in the noshing of my leftover Halloween candy. The night is still young, though.
We enter post-elimination, with Sami reminding the contestants that she met them in the desert at the beginning of the season, where they wore grey shirts bearing their ages. They had no trainers and no teams. Since then, the remaining nine players have lost 504 pounds. That’s, like, three people! Sami asks everyone to wear their grey shirts tomorrow, but doesn’t tell them why. But, duh, it’s pretty obvious. Back at the house, the contestants talk about whether they’ll soon be teamless, and Sunny says that whether or not the Black Team is wearing black shirts, they’re still a tribe. The other Black Team members agree, with Antone attributing their success to 1) sticking together; 2) having Bob consistently as a trainer. Everyone is scared of losing Bob, because he inspires obsession in even the heartiest of humans. Joe says that he’s fighting for Bob if he can, and the others feel similarly.
The next day, the contestants meet Sami in the not-desert and see three flags behind her with the names of Dolvett, Bob and Anna emblazoned upon them. They (and we!) flash back to that first day in the desert where THE SAME FLAGS were standing. Believe it! Sami has everyone line up according to age, then asks the three youngest to take a step to the right and the three oldest to take a step to the left. The only real change is that Joe is now bundled with Bonnie and Becky, which makes him not at all happy. But wait! Sami announces that these groupings are not going to be the new teams. Today, in fact, the contestants will pick their new teams. But how, you may ask? Sami shall tell us. Each group will be given three dishes representing some of their favorite foods before coming to the ranch where they were placed on a Jennie-O and Yoplait only diet. The person from each group who guesses closest to the total number of calories from all three dishes wins the opportunity to choose their trainer. The person who comes in second gets to choose from the remaining two trainers, and last place gets the default trainer, e.g. Anna. When all is said and done, the teams will be made up of one player from each group. Well, that seems much more fair, doesn’t it? The contestants are peeved, though. Well, at least the young’uns and the middles are. I’m sure Bonnie is quite relieved. The trainer they get today will be their trainer until the end, so everyone should get the calorie counters in their brains revved up.
The young team is up first, and the dishes they have are Jessica’s favorite Caesar salad with extra dressing and bread; Ramon’s dozen tacos with a side of two burritos; and Vinny’s grandma’s country breakfast featuring chocolate gravy. Chocolate gravy! Let us proclaim now that Vinny’s grandma is an evil genius. The three youngsters do the calculations as best they can in their heads. Jessica guesses 6,200 calories, Vinny guesses 9,000, and Ramon guesses 2,570. Sami is astounded at Ramon’s optimism. It turns out that Jessica’s salad is 2,259 calories, the box of tacos is 3,100 calories, and Vinny’s breakfast is 1,747 calories. Vinny doesn’t have it so bad by comparison! Jessica’s guess is closest, and she chooses Dolvett to be her trainer. Vinny is not an idiot, and so chooses Bob. This leaves an upset Ramon with Anna. Even his hormones at the thought of close proximity to a pretty lady can’t trump the displeasure of Anna getting up in his grille about his relationship with Jessica, and he doesn’t want to talk to her, much less train with her.