Stranded in the water miles off shore, Dexter thinks he’s going to die, but he’s rescued at the last minute and makes it back to Miami. Since he thinks Colin Hanks is long gone (with no particular basis for that, I feel compelled to point out), he brings Jamie and Harrison back to the house, with both the solar eclipse and the pageant only a day away. Deb, thinking that Dexter had an accident on his boat, comes to see her shirtless brother and slobber love all over him and GROSS, and then they get a call to the home of the couple that Colin Hanks murdered most recently, in which Dexter is of course first person in so he can obliterate the Dexmaster face before anyone else sees it, which is completely preposterous. However, Dexter notices a drawing Colin Hanks left behind of the eclipse, and wonders if he can exploit the fact that Colin Hanks thinks he’s dead. But this point is a double-edged sword, as since Colin Hanks has Dexter’s wallet and keys and thinks he’s dead, he decides to hide out at his place.
Before we go any further, let’s mop up the other silly plots: Greene asks Masuka if he can stay on permanently, which leads to Masuka telling him he’s not good enough, which is possibly the most hilarious thing that’s ever been said on this show. Also, Deb takes a good guess as to where Colin Hanks is going to be for the eclipse, and with her speculation and Colin Hanks’s drawing Dexter figures out exactly where it is. And, LaGuerta does some actual police work, which is kind of amazing, and leads them all to realize that Colin Hanks is going to make a sacrifice. Oh, and Deb really is in love with Dexter, like EW, SAINT THERAPIST.
At Dexter’s place, Colin Hanks discovers Harrison’s existence (without killing Jamie, thankfully) and learns about the pageant. He succeeds in kidnapping Harrison and taking him to the appointed place, with Dexter in hot pursuit, of course. Dexter invokes his Beast-ness in getting Colin Hanks to forego killing Harrison, but Colin Hanks has Dexter inject himself with his own needle in return for sparing Harrison’s life. But of course, Dexter faked him out and captures him, and seriously, I think the Scenes From Next Week about this bit were longer than it played out in reality. Anyway, after Dexter returns Harrison to Jamie’s care, he has a verbal dance with Colin Hanks right before he kills him…witnessed by Deb. Okay, that should have happened a year ago, but I still didn’t see that coming, so one good thing happened this season, at least.