Sure, Blair’s (Leighton Meester) been dreaming of her fairytale wedding since she was just a little girl. But it’s also true that producers of “Gossip Girl” have been dreaming of this moment for a long time as well. And the Upper East Side drama didn’t disappoint. In fact, it was easy the best episode this season.
In the spirit of the day, it only seems appropriate to review Monday’s (Jan. 30) show as the bride would want — with something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.
[Major Spoiler Alert]
Something Old: Michelle Trachtenberg is back as Georgina Sparks, and she’s as vindictive as ever. Georgina only has one goal during this return to the Upper East Side — to ruin the wedding of the year.
“I can’t wait to rain all over her [Blair’s] parade,” she says with a diabolical sneer.
Doing so entails an incredible amount of deception, such as dressing as a priest, stripping down to next to nothing in an attempt to seduce Louis (Hugo Becker) and then videotaping a confession from Blair that she’s not really in love with Louis. The coup de grace is when the video ends up posted to Gossip Girl … during the wedding. Whether Georgina is responsible for this specifically is immaterial. Of course she may have a bigger role with Gossip Girl than we ever knew.
Something New: Having been humiliated at the altar, Louis takes a moment to regroup and talk things through with Blair. The two decide to make a go of it anyway. Does this mean that Blair and Louis will live happily ever after? Not by a long shot. Turns out that Louis unveils a whole new personality after everything goes cockeyed. He tells Blair from this point forward, she means nothing to him. She will be there just for show, she will smile and carry out her duties as a princess. But there is no love between them. Did Blair have it coming? Probably, considering earlier in the episode she says, “I’ll grow into loving Louis.” Should he have just walked away from the mess? In the real world, yes. But then what kind of drama would “Gossip Girl” be if it played by the rules.
Something Borrowed: Blair’s in a mess unlike anything she could ever imagine. She is devastated at the altar. She enters into a loveless marriage against her better judgement. Seemingly everyone — from Serena (Blake Lively) to Chuck (Ed Westwick) to her mother — tells her to just walk away. But she doesn’t. The only person who kept mum in this entire affair is Dan (Penn Badgley). But guess who comes to the rescue? Lonely Boy. He borrows (OK, steals, but that’s just a technicality) the car Blair and Louis were to be chauffeured away in and takes off with the new bride.
While we don’t know where the new couple heads off to, we do know from “Gossip Girl” EP Josh Safran that they’re not just hiding in Dan’s apartment in Brooklyn. They’re going to go somewhere they’ve never been before. We’re guessing Miami Beach. But that’s only a guess.
Something Blue: Chuck, the man who seemed to be Blair’s choice just months prior, ends up being nowhere close. He is resigned to the fact that his life will have to go on without Blair, until the bride’s own mother, Eleanor Waldorf (Margaret Colin), pleads with him to intervene.
“So are you coming to stop this thing or what?” she asks, just hours before her daughter is to wed.
Chuck hightails it to the church and confronts Blair, simply saying, “Don’t marry him.” But Blair tells him “Even if I weren’t with Louis, I couldn’t end up with you.”
Chuck punts on the “speak now or forever hold your peace” opportunity only to regret it too late. Looks like there’s a new “Lonely Boy” on the show now.
Uh oh. Uh oh.