Everyone remembers that girl from middle school — you know the one. She had perfect hair, her boyfriend was in high school, and her mom totally let her wear eyeliner to school. (If you were that girl, congratulations. Now go away.)
“All of my favorite people–people I really trust–none of them were cool in their younger years,” she says. “Because if you know how to be cool in middle school, maybe you have skills you shouldn’t. Maybe you know how to be conniving, like, naturally.” She laughs. “There’s always that seventh-grade girl who looks like she’s 25. And you’re like, How do you do it? How do you do it, Sarah Jaxheimer?” She lets out a comically ear-piercing shriek: “Why is your hair always so shiny?!”
Congratulations, Sarah Jaxheimer, you are marginally famous for being the coolest girl in middle school in Wyomissing, PA. Like the writer of the Vogue profile, we did a little Googling on Sarah Jaxheimer (we had to see the girl who strikes envy in Taylor Swift for ourselves). She’s very pretty, she’s the social chair in her sorority at Miami University, and she loves shopping and her friends.
Taylor, we love you… but we’re pretty sure you won this round, so it might be time to let go of the shiny hair jealousy.