Not one to be deterred by something as trivial as ratings, Donald Trump pressed on with the second episode of “The Celebrity Apprentice” Sunday (Feb. 26) night going up against the Oscars. And the celebrities, not ones to be deterred by a need for actual talent, pressed on with the next challenge: Create a 12-to-15-minute show for Medieval Times.
The audience of utensil-less eaters will vote for their favorite, and a winner will be crowned. And randomly, James Lipton from “Inside the Actors Studio” is the adviser for this challenge because he’s a knight. We’re assuming this also qualifies the Queen of England to be a “Toddlers & Tiaras” judge.
The men and women smartly select veteran performers as their project managers: Penn Jillette and Lisa Lampanelli. But then the teams’ paths quickly diverge as Lisa starts barking at the other women in the car about not being interrupted, and the men jovially start planning their “big, gay, loud and fun” show. The women ultimately decide to play to the New Jersey crowd by making use of their ace in the Jersey hole, “Real Housewives” star Teresa Giudice, with “The Unreal Housewives of Camelot” theme. The men, in turn, forgo any sort of plot in favor of featuring what each of their teammates are known for: Clay Aiken will sing, Paul Teutul Sr.’s going to bring out some choppers, Dee Snider will dress in drag, Arsenio Hall will do that arm-pumping/barking thing, etc.
Victoria Gotti continues to put a target on her back (though, the other women seem to think she’s going to do the same to them if she gets sent home — wink, wink): She doesn’t want to be creative director, she has to wear her Louis Vuitton bag while sword fighting, she spells medieval like “mid-evil.” And most importantly, she says she wishes she could quit the women’s team and move over to the men’s side.
After shaky dress rehearsals for both teams, we finally get to see the performances. The men’s is exactly what we expect; however, with the women, we get the bonus of missed cues, a flashed crotch (Debbie Gibson), lots of cleavage and Teresa flipping a table.
When we get to the boardroom, though, all the cleavage in the world can’t save the women: With 363 votes to the men’s 558, Forte has lost the challenge and someone will be fired. Naturally, after all the bickering, Lisa brings back Victoria, but weirdly also picks Dayana Mendoza — who did exactly what Mr. Trump told her to: Take off your clothes and ride on a horse.
The best part, though, was when James Lipton (where has he been?) says the main issue in the task was deciding who had that “seven-syllable word,” which he then spells: P-A-S-S-I-O-N. And apparently a teary Lisa has it. So in an easy out, Trump fires Victoria.
Sleep with one eye open, Lisa.